Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

~Woman ~ a tie that binds

 A bystander
gazing on your reflections.
This is what you left me to become.
I cut off the scream
so you don't hear it.
My fists balled against
my eyes.
I see into the future
hers will be loved.
Fine perfection,
 slim curves
and wispy hair.
I cried for children
we wouldn't make
Deep down in MY womb.
I saw that light in her eyes
and inside,
I broke.
You made her look beautiful.
Cause and effect.
I watched as a
drop of water slid
down the window,
 My finger pressed
to the glass.

 
~Or~
 

My finger pressed
to the glass
I watched as a
drop of water slid
down the window.
Cause and effect.
You made her look beautiful
I saw that light in her eyes
and inside,
I broke.
Deep down in my womb
I cried for children
we wouldn't make.
 Fine perfection,
 slim curves
and wispy hair,
I see into the future
hers will be loved.
My fists balled against
my eyes
I cut off the scream
so you don't hear it.
This is what you left me to become.
  A bystander
gazing on your reflections.

Author notes

I Noticed a while back that most poems can be read backwards.. I pointed it out to a few people.. Try it sometime.. Before you know it you will be reading that way..

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • arafura gold member
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    reflections...

    I think you are right only if the poem makes sense and is as brilliantly composed as yours is... Great work as usual poet! You are truly a fine wordsmith.


  • kjack
    December 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It is amazing how it can be read either way. I've never thought to try that when reading a piece. This was stunningly beautiful. I can not express in words what it made me feel. It brought back memories of my best friend, Micah. We have been best friends for 28 years, and she was killed last month in an auto accident. She left behind 4 children, and her husband had died 2 years ago. I have tried to be there for the children. Well, enough carrying on about that. This poem was truly an amazing piece, and it did bring tears to my eyes.

    becca

  • celadia
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was wonderful, a real good read.


  • subterfugepoet
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Heartbreakingly beautiful. I think I like it better the second way, it drew me in more, but either way it is still a stunning piece.


  • Emile
    December 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    I am trying to decide which of these wonderful depictions of an emotion moment I like best, it’s difficult for they both call to me in different yet compelling voices. Good imagery and flow are both presented well within their lines. You have a gift with words that is simple yet so powerful. Your emotions and pain wrap themselves around your words and we are left in awe. They are both worthy of my praise and recognition as the outstanding poetic expressions they are and share.


  • My Nemesis
    December 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I will have to try this with some other poems. I love the way the poem reads - both ways. Eerie how the one is the reflection of the other. Beautiful - amazing how you saw that.


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    December 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very cool Cat, nicely done, this piece is soothing and haunting at the same time...peace Terry


  • sidewinder silver member
    December 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    memories held in that moment of the past where reflections smile in that twilight sheltered dawn.


    Well done my friend!
    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • haikumonk gold member
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Intersting.... I never, ever even thought about doing this....LOL... but then again, I write haiku!


  • tara wilson gold member
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh, that is an awesome idea....I love this...I think I like the second arrangement of lines better

    I'll have to try this..


  • Night Hope gold member
    December 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "I saw that light in her eyes
    and inside,
    I broke."

    Sighhh...Haunting, beautiful & poignant, read backwards OR forwards, my Friend. Lovely penning, Sweetie. Wanda

1 - 11 of 11