Wounded

Dont touch me, I am bloody, wounded, and raw
I have somehow tried it and survived it all
while it stings, the cool air blows over nerves
my body trembles, blood drips over curves
I am a woman,  broken and scarred
tried so many times, my heart is now hard
while I would give it all for things to go right
that dream is impossible, no where in sight
Somehow I mess it up or it's not meant to be
the only thing known, is pain is what I see
Inside I am screaming for a chance to be heard
while every relationship carries an unsaid word
why is it so hard to be vulnerable and weak
why do I feel alone even when we speak
how come I try and it doesn't feel like its enough
what am I looking for, why is this so tough
Why do I think my past is behind me,yet it's always in my face
how come no matter how I move on those things I cannot erase
am I destined to drown in what was and never get to just be
will I always be running away from a history I dont want to see
Maybe its not love or anbody else that inflicts pain
maybe I bring it upon myself because tears aren't seen in the rain
Denial is not a life I want to live, but my history I also can't forgive
A future I dream of so different from my past
A craving for consistancy, a love that will last
Arms that will hold me through all my fears
trust and security to kiss away my tears
loyalty and faith that will hold strong
laughter and smiles when the days get too long
security and warmth to sleep with at night
a never ending love to sustain through a fight
forgiveness and grace when things take a turn
a willingness to continue and take what we learn
no grudges, heated words, or feeling rejected
just a love so pure I know I'm safe and protected
Just maybe one day all this will come along
a day when im not fragile but strong
a day when mistakes aren't all I see out of fear
and maybe then I will just see the now and here
but until then the in between is where I reside
a scary and lonely place where I hide
a fallen angel with shattered wings
a voice that no longer sings
I know these pieces are my own to mend
but God another angel can't you send