The pills in my hand
The note in my pocket
I could end this now
Give up life without a second thought
The black bird sings
As the blade slides across my wrist
And the countless pills
slide down my throat
**Drowned by the alcohol**
my stomach is in so much pain
The stall door opens
You pull me in your arms
I try and tell you to leave
But im just too weak
Your tears hit my face
My blood stains your shirt
You tell me hang on
I hear the sirens
Then drift into a numbing sleep
Only to awake days later
Finding ive failed at one more thing
The countless tubes
the scar on my stomach
Tears fall from my face
I want To die
A contest entry
- Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 2009, 406 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK- be specific.!.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I can envision this. That is what i like about poetry. Imagery. It filled the missing spot of darkness in my day. i have had an awesome bday and i just needed something this. i think you might like my poem 10 'til death and half-past life.
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Strong images, strong emotions. Hauntingly captivating, duck. I love your work so much, just because you write what is real.
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Holy crap! A lot of strong images. I love the first few lines. I felt like I was there watching it all unravel. Impressive work
warmest,
mylee -
wow just wow, very powerfull and emotional xx
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I'm at a loss of words.
It was that beautiful!
Wow, wow, wow!
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Wow, this is great, you really hit the heart strings. I love this verse I hear the sirens
Then drift into a numbing sleep
Only to awake days later
Finding ive failed at one more thing
Because that is what life can turn out to be for some people, one big pit of failure, but you gotta hang on!
-Crimson
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You can see what you words spell out. The immage of the events and the emotions all in this poems. It's awesome. You can feel the fear, teh failure, and the love.
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awwies
this is so good, but so sad
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this is so strong..the images are extremely vivid..it's truly beautiful, but so painful. Thank you for sharing. I admire your courage. You can overcome anything, so please don't forget that you always have something to live for. much love, debbie<33
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wow
this is amazing.i love this.it is like BAM,about me.
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i feel like this, too. i just wanna leave this life behind, but i fail evry time.
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this was amazing, sad, deep, and it gave me images, very creative =]
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wow, this was deep,sad, so much emotion. are seking help. great write, thanks for sharing
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WOW,,!! O.O
This Is Amazing,,Well Written,,I Felt The Same Not So Long Ago,,Its GReat,,I Love It,,!! xx -
This reminds me of when I was getting ready to kill myself, I wrote 3 poem/letters that were going to be my suicide note. I have them posted on my reading list under letters goodbye. But aside from that i really connected with this and I know what it feels like to wake up every day wishing you were dead
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this is beautiful....eerily similar to something i went through when i was 17
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wow
i loved this piece its indredible i loved the part about sirens and such and the tears and blood stains i really loved this piece i have tried twice and i have failed of course and I wish it would have followed through many of times but it didnt but plz keep up the good work i would hate 2 see such talent go2 waste
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this makes me very very sad...i know what's it's like to want to die though i had yet to try...i hope you find a reason to live
great, moving poem
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Wow, This is a well written poem. It brought tears to my eyes because it reminds me of when i tried to kill my self. I Can feel your pain. you express your self well.
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