She dances in a light mist
Falling into her own abyss.
She loves the feeling
The Happiness,
Overwhelming,
Wheightless.
She Dances in a Light mist
Falling into her own abyss.
Spinning,
Spinning,
She soon Falls down
loosing it all.
No balance.
Shes a rose petal turned to stone.
A Flower turning Sour,
She no longer dances in the mist,
Trapped into a dark abyss.
Ashes,
Ashes,
We all fall down.
A contest entry
- PIF Quickie Pic Inspired 15/10-15L/30 by poet2angels.
775 points, ended December 18, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What'cha think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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brilliantly written
an excellent, powerful and rythmic poem...i love the twist "a flower turning sour
she no longer dances in the mist"
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I love it ! !
'She's a rose petal turned to stone'...fantastic line. Reading this I was imagining a beautiful fairy dancing and spinning around. I really enjoyed the ending, It's a wonderful feeling getting dizzy with happiness but crushing when it all turns sour, it reflects that very well...absolutely awesome, I love it!!!
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very good
I liked this poem and its theme a lot. The ending was surprising to me. In a good way though. This was a nice twist on the small tune we all have heard used too many times in too many bad jokes or punns. However you pulled this off very well.
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beginning to reach here for layers and meanings, very well done, there is much beneath the surface here...PK
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Very creative with great imagery
TY for entering
Lynda
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breath taking poem. very well done!!
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I like it a lot I really like your lines especially
"She's a rose Petal turned to stone"
"She no longer dances in the mist" -
i loooooove the last line. so awesome. the imagery is amazing. the flower turning sour is particualarly nice. very good, you should do well in this contest. at least i hope so.
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Very nice my love, you are truly more of a poet than you claim yourself to be.
-Falecurst
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OMG, this is such a beautiful poem
well done
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