Endless pain
Digging into skin of the innocent
Bodies jolting forward into the future
One with death on the distinguished horizon
Blood red flashes upon the rising sun
The suicidal child lies
blocking the ocean waves
arms spread to form a star
Waiting for the powerful current
To wash her out sea
An observative young boy
Runs up to the depressed girl
She can not be injured anymore
He takes her under his arm
And carries her to his plaid blanket
Laying her down
And bawling once he realizes
That she is dead
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Personal Best #10 (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended March 13, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - _.:*~*:._.:*~*OPTIONS: BIG POINTS*~*:._.:*~*:._ by Erika Elektrikka.
2200 points, ended March 12, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Searching for An AP Family by Willowhaunt.
1100 points, ended March 16, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you like it?
Comments
-
This is quite depressing. Im not crazy about the flow of this poem, as it as not written as eloquently as I would have preferred...but this is a good piece
Good Luck,
Erika
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Very dark and bleak. This poem really has amazing tone, and is very well written. If you would include your desired position and author name in your author notes, I'd be glad to add you to the family.
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wow. that's very depressing. I like how it goes from vague to painfully clear. the ending is very sad, but it put the image into my mind really well.
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