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Chessboard

Watch the tears fall
Do they satisfy you?
Does it make you happy
To see me crying as I am?

Watch me break down
Are you happy now?
Does it satisfy you
To see the way you hurt me?

Can't leave me be
Won't pull me up
So you choose to drag me down

You feel no guilt
And no regret
For what I've been driven to

I'm sorry I'm not like you
Sorry I don't fit in
I tried so hard
You weren't impressed
I'm through with fruitless games

Who I am
Doesn't matter to you
Except as a pawn on the chessboard
I'm through playing that role
Being that piece
I play my own games now.

Author notes

This is kind of my own style. I changed forms a few times, because I felt like it and because each part represents something different.
The first part was about how "you"--as in, my peers and the people I'm forced to be around--seem to enjoy watching me suffer, openly mocking me, saying things to hurt me... everything.
The second part is about how they dragged me down the emotional ladder, knew they were dragging me down, and then when they found out that I had attempted suicide, didn't stop, or at least slow down with, their antics, intentionally pulling me further. They honestly don't care--the attempt is just another thing that makes me weird, makes me a target.
The third part--free verse--is about how I'm through trying to be like them, through trying desperately to fit in. I've been a part of their little game long enough. I can't make them stop hurting me, but I CAN stop trying to follow the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality.

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