I
wrapped
up this square
shape box for you in
hope that you will adore,
it took me longer to make than
ever before. I enclosed a constricted
envelope with advice for you to take. My
ambition for you, is that you will follow through
and take my words to heart. On this
Christmas day, I ask of you, one
simple favor,from me to you
please send me some
leftover
stew?
A contest entry
- Allpoetry's Christmas 2007 Holiday Bash by Little Eagle.
6900 points, ended January 3, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Christmas Wish... by Asdzaa Nadleehe.
1400 points, ended December 26, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - what does xmas mean to you by tiarna.
450 points, ended December 21, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seasons Greetings :) All Ages Welcome! by Salt Therapy.
700 points, ended December 20, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thank you for your entry
This is a cute little poem. So you want some stew do you.
very cute. I like the shape as well.
God Bless and Merry Christmas
Tammy
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Stewing in Thought
This has an internal rhyme scheme that falls apart about half way through. I also initially thought we were going someplace romantic with this mysterious box and advise and such, but then all we end up with is stew. Is this some emotional stew leftover from a broken relationship of some sort? If so, it isn't clear from the poem. I wanted this to have a clear focus. I don't know what the box is, what's in it, and I'm not sure what "constricted" means in that sentence. The meaning isn't coming through for me. I'm sorry, but I'm just not getting this one. Perhaps a rewrite with a stronger focus that sustains itself to the end? -
can't read this
i really tried. i even got out an old flouroscope to try to radiate the screen and illuminate the verbage, but alas, to no avail. on to other poems by you... -
I love the shape, the poem, everything! [maybe not the font color so much lol]
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awww, how cute!! nice form, i really like it. such a cute poem, it brought up memories for me. awesome write!!
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thats cute great write
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lol..thats too cute...thank you so much...smiles
Peace and many blessings
~A~
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