Darkness of your anger,
Surrounds me
Like the rotting shroud of death
Forever reaching out to devour me
Like an angry malevolent demon
Rising from the fiery pits of the blackest hell
Heat from your angry breath,
burst forth with each new word
like that of a dragon breathing fire
To scorch and to sear,
as it threatens to consume
To burn, to destroy
All that is good and light,
All that is pure in this life
I struggle so hard to survive,
Your anger and hatred
eagerly strive to take away
My meager existence
Even to the destruction of my very soul
Your anger attacks,
As a vampire stalking prey
In the dead of the night
Thinking only of its own desires ,
It's own dark needs
As razor sharp fangs
sink into flesh,
In the cold darkness of the night
Methodically draining its victim
of the very essence of life
Will this tragedy never cease,
This continuing anger
Burning deep within your heart,
Within your mind
How do I stop this darkness
From overtaking from devouring you, how?
How do I stop it from dragging me
into the putrid fiery nether regions along with you?
Angel of light look into this heart,
Heal the anger burning so volcanic and dark
let this destruction cease
Take away all traces of bitterness and pain,
Give each tortured soul a new start once again.
A contest entry
- everything and anything by x Bright Eyes x.
525 points, ended February 4, 2008, 84 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Darkest Reaches of Contests by Neko Mimi Soundwave.
700 points, ended July 4, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with you best shot fire away...... by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended June 25, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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nice emotiona bit rocky i think it might need some editing to make it worthy of gold. I am going to give this a 4/10 thanks for entering though good luck
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Revise It.
Painful. -
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Is that your way of saying it's bad?
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It is not BAD. No. But it was hard for me to see what angle you were coming from. The content was emotional, painful, but revise the flow. I am pleased you questioned my comment rather than just going:
XZIOMG WAI DONT U <3 MY POE
If you can edit it, with a better flow, you might have a better chance hitting the 2nd or 3rd place mark.
Seriously.
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This was absolutely amazing. I could feel it. Your imagery was through the roof. Seriously i loved this piece. Thank you for entering. This is going to be a tough contest. I simply adore this piece. Good luck. <3
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Wow ~ this is over the top good ~ you did a terrific job! The metaphors and imagery was well done~ I do like dark poetry ~ but only if it's written well ~ you did a fantastic job!
Thanks so much for entering the "Set the bar" contest ~ I really appreciate you sharing your work with me~ best of luck to you. -
This reminds me of someone, but I will not say...
This write is exceptional, though. Your words tear me apart and cause my heart to burn and writhe in these unspoken memories... no, that's not necessarily a bad thing. 
I've been touched in a dark way by this poem, and that's what a poem is meant to do when written such as this.
I like the way you gave this attribute of his to something more imaginary like a demonic figure and abstract scenery/images.
Thanks for sharing & entering my contest A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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Well...talk about issues with one's dad! Actually, I think a lot of people can relate. Sometimes parents take out their anger on their children in the most awful ways. This was well expressed. Personally, I liked it, but I think it could benefit from a bit of editing, it did seem to drag on a bit towards the end with more of the same stuff.
Good luck in the contest though. -
This is a very powerful and emotive poem,
i like how you ask god to help this anger. this is a touching poem that makes one pounder with thought of what happens in life.
if only we all could life the ideal life, but that too is just a dream...
Liked your stuff, keep the pen poised.
Dolores
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this was just fantastic
your word choice for this poem was great
your message was full of compassion
and your love overflowed in different parts of this poem
it was sad in some ways and love in others
great poem
its sad when a child wants love from their father but gets none
so your title fit this perfect
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wow this is very good!!! I like your use of words. Keep up the writing...
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