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Sonnet- Romeo and Juliet

Fair Juliet quite stole away his heart
And Romeo did catch away her breath
The sudden paramours vowed ne'er to part
Or break their hidden vows, on pain of death
Feuds are cruel to those in this twisted text
And all in the earth and the skies cry 'woe'
Leaving us to wonder whose life is next
Alas Juliet, Alas Romeo
Star-crossed amours forever bound by fate
Will for their true love eternity wait

Author notes

The background; have you ever noticed that the King of Hearts is suicidal? And this Queen is married to him. It seemed rather fitting.
And this is my first attempt at a sonnet! Ten syllables per line, A-B-A-B-C-D-C-D-E-E pattern. It may be a little stiff, but keep in mind, 'twas a first shot. Thank you, and please review!
-Vivian

A contest entry

Mr. Comment Box will for eternity wait...For one of your comments! Don't keep him waiting that long, please.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Peachy
    January 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really loved this, it rhymed so beautifully and said so much!
    Well Done!


  • wakingdevil
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    With a bit of a revision this cd be a very good write.The thought is nice in this and you've got the syllable count write but hv missed the meter.Well written, for ur first attempt.Best of luck

  • CharlotteRose
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Never read a sonnet on here before, nor do I know how to critique one, but this was simply beautiful! I loved the word choice you used and the beautiful way it flowed. Excellent work, thx for entering!

    ~CharlotteRose~


  • Swan song gold member
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the content This is a very simle sonnet.
    The cadence of this poem was excellent


  • ellipsist
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    beautifully composed... eloquent language used... an impressive sonnet, indeed! thank you for sharing this piece! good luck to you!

  • HighRise Dusk
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i dont know about sonnets but i like. keep up the good work....wait...isnt that the same comment box for your next poem?


  • The Amazon Seer
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    dude...amazing...

1 - 8 of 8