‘cry’ says ophelia:
the technology’s gone to your head,
yeah,
the technology’s grown kitten claws, blue girl, metal girl, rust-in-the-garden-gateway girl, and the devil’s been asking where you slept last night, he forgot to watch while he flew three times round the world in a paper boat. so ophelia sings
the floor of a faceless shadow’s room and
where did he leave his mouth, blue girl, moon girl, did he forget to pick it up girl, or did he leave it hanging open in caverns filled with shells, hey, maybe, after you bit frozen lips and made him bleed and played piano on eagle thighs, left the tinsel from the magic wand on the broken swings where
you know
they’ll see right through you
their little pixie fingers flicker, finding bitemarks in your promises, cancer in the sun, the aching of the ever-sorry musician who sold his soul for a china doll,
and if you choke on yourself
then why
not him, when his eyes were holes
and yours stayed as wide as the sky.
Author notes
hah i don't know
In a list
A contest entry
- Nancy Boy [PRE-WRITES] by girl shaman.
2500 points, ended December 24, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Awesome ending<3 Im lost.


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...
you are the most amazing. ever.
i dont even know what to say.
honestly, and its not because i'm like, kissing up or that i'm too lazy or something.
this is one of the best pieces i've ever read,
probably the best by you in my opinion.
<3+<3

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and if you choke on yourself
then why
not him, when his eyes were holes
and yours stayed as wide as the sky.
wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow. <333 i love it.

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Lovely.


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usually when you dont know; something brilliant is born. i think you should not know alot more
ha
anyway.. i gotta hand it to you; this is just non stop image. like an old fashion picture show. AND OMG.. i have this thing about the word girl.. i feel it goes with any word and sounds so beautiful, and you've just proved my theroy so right. i adore this so much.. like most of your work but just for the girl i have to say i like this more! <3
♥

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beautiful
as always.
" left the tinsel from the magic wand on the broken swings where
you know
they’ll see right through you
their little pixie fingers flicker, finding bitemarks in your promises, cancer in the sun"
- it's just heaven on a screen isnt it =p
i love yoo x

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This was simply amazing and I absolutely loved the imagery in this piece. Excellent work.


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'where did he leave his mouth, blue girl, moon girl, did he forget to pick it up girl, or did he leave it hanging open in caverns filled with shells, hey, maybe, after you bit frozen lips and made him bleed and played piano on eagle thighs, left the tinsel from the magic wand on the broken swings where
you know'
bloody hell lauz, this was amazing. I can't pick at anything in this piece, it is so utterly perfect. I loved the ending, it's so devstating, but I can feel it happening. powerful.
<33

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I do! I see s familiar rhythm here that I'm pretty sure I've used before.
catastrophically beautimous, dear. there was no stand out line, its all in neon brites.
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