Midnight hours are series of true confessions where the sky is dark; the moon is high and stars are shining brightly but lack the power to open up the sky.
THe dull lights of the street lamp exploit his weakness as their eyes meet and her heart slips away from any outreaching hands.
[She always thought it'd be exhausting to lose her own way]
Shes writing of him again. It's inevitable that she wouldnt be able to forget him anyway. Lying to herself was the least she could do[his eyes are concrete anyway] Maybe he doesnt realize he's missing her yet, she doesnt let him know she hasnt forgotten him yet.
[but it's over baby, we just still have to realize it]
Her words are cut off[cold;too short] as she talks to him throughout the night. He's working out her true confession in his mind in utter shock.[why is she so damn confusing]
is it really her he's talking to right now, or has she completely changed? Baby it's about time she walked away from his heart
[But he has a nice;pretty little hold on her]
She's not the same little girl he met so long ago.[he'll say it when he sees her again that night]she grew up honey. She doesn't fall for his words so easily anymore.
He notices her control and the way the light slides over her body as she lays beside him barely moving. Her breath comes out in a rush of air as she rolls away from him; her mind spinning
[but it's over baby;;are we done yet?]
12-12-07
Author notes
this may not actually flow the way i had originally wanted too. there was just so much i had to get out and i needed it too fast.
hope this works for you darling.
♥©
SheLovesYouLikeThis
A contest entry
- An Abundance of Titles by Mad As Rabbits.
700 points, ended December 30, 2007, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oh my. This was very well written! I really liked how it reads like prose - it works well for this. I have only one concern: it seems to me that if you replaced the word 'baby' and put something else in its place, it would work out much better.
I really liked this!
Jes -
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well i used baby alot because thats what he always called me. and he definately overused it alot of the time.
i am happy you liked it though.
thanks very much.
♥Love
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Bby, I think this is amazing,
just pure amazingness lol [=
[♥...forever]
miss you sweetie
♥
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well i think you're amazing bby.
thanks though.very much.
[♥...forever]
{i really like that^^it looks cool.}
miss you always too.♥
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Wow! I absouletly love this, not going to lie. I love how it really tells a story.
Awesome job, thanks for entering!
Love Always,
Caroline
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im happy you loved this.
i was afraid you or anyone else wouldnt. this was incredible hard to write...and ahh....
thanks again.♥
Love
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