She was a girl without maturity,
chosen vessel of the Lord’s desire
to stun stars at her birthing cries.
Silent night has never heard
such moan of she who knew
she gave divine name
to death’s bright hope
but loved long
this peace
child.
Author notes
I always remember she was an early teen, on a long road, and knew the child was born to die such death.
Etheree
jpg by Carol Stevens
In a list
A contest entry
- Christmas Eve--A Gift (even if you don't know me) by micol.
500 points, ended December 24, 2007, 1 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I could wish that there had been more entries in the contest, if only so that yours might have been given an opportunity to shine against competition; it is rather like winning a ball game because the other team didn't show up--it's nice to win, but without the challenge of the game itself, winning seems hollow.
Regardless, I enjoyed the poem very much. Several phrases--especially "stun stars at her birthing cries"--are remarkable and appropriate. There's a single line that seems awkward--"such moan of she"--because the words don't seem to fit grammatically, but otherwise you handled the subject well. There is a power in reminding outselves and readers that the figures we so often treat as flat images or icons were in fact people, with lives beyond the cliches we've associated with them.
Congratulations, and best for the Season. -
-
it was the comma, I think...she who knew.... ty so much micol.
-
-
awe such a great little poem, I love this and I wish you the very best in this contest!
-
-
ty ebaby
-
-
very good
an intriguing work
a silent love borders eternity
-
-
ty, pen friend.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
