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Holiday Cries

Missing image

My first Holiday's excruciating with a Christmas cry,

my son died three months ago, this is why.

Imagine he was my oldest child, only twenty-four,
our family is devistated, this never happened before.

 

Here we are a stack of Stavron's, the Christmas card we sent,
Loving Holiday's with my family is how Christmas was spent.
My oldest child has died, I feel like I'm somehow lost,
loosing Matt shattering a hole in my heart, this is what it cost.

Sadly these are bitter memories, yet other's are so sweet,
thank God two other children,  keeping me busy, yet I'm beat.
Christmas time is a busy time of year for everyone,
not to busy though, that I don't shed tears just wanting to run.

 

Never again will we be a family Christmas card, just us five, many years there was  much happiness that we all did thrive.
Things have changed, I don't like the way things turned out,
I can do nothing about it except be loving with some clout.


I cry aloud, every part of my being, deep within my heart,
this is what it's like this Christmas since it first did start.
A week and a half til Christmas, relieved with a sigh,

knowing that all my Holiday's with many tears I shall cry.

 


Written by: Kelle Marie Stavron
December 15, 2007

A contest entry

What would you feel if you lost your child and it was just 3 months ago and now it's Christmas time??

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • aboomer silver member
    December 3, 2008

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    It's always a sad time to lose a loved one - but seems to be so much harder around a holiday. I lost my youngest brother 6 weeks before xmas (years ago) and my grandmother on Thanksgiving (and last year my dad 2 days before the 4th of July, then my mom a year later, this year)....and every time those holidays come around, I just find it difficult. I've started doing my own holidays - on different days.
    it's not easy for anyone, and my thoughts/prayers/best wishes go out to you.

    A very sad, heartfelt write. Thank you for this entry.
    best wishes in the contest


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    December 1, 2008
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    Wow, that was deep!!!

    Couldn't help but be touched by such an outpouring of raw emotion steeped in such heartbreaking tragedy...
    Well done for letting it out & expressing it so honestly & having the courage to share it...
    Well penned, well versed, well done!!!
    Good luck in the contest...


  • WolfHeart
    November 23, 2008
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    You are a beautiful lady who has been through the deepest pit of hell. Your write left me in tears, agonizing for you and wishing I could do something. I will tell you that I truly care and will keep you and your family in my heart and prayers.
    Thank you for sharing this very difficult and sad story.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    December 30, 2007
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    Bless you honey

    I feel the pain within your heart and know its a love treasured and felt daily from a Mom so true . God Bless you and your family at this time and know I walk with you daily to help see you through this how ever long it may be .Love always Your AP MOM Patty

  • Lady Mak
    December 18, 2007

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    I would feel absolutely heartbroken, devastated, Jesus wept when Lazarus died even although Jesus was going there to ressurect him, death is not natural that is why it causes so much pain. It is not part of Gods purpose for mankind

    What makes you think you wil never be a family of five again. The Bible doesn't say that Job asked: at Job 14:14, 15 If an able bodied man dies can he live again?" In answer to his own question Job said to God: "You will call and I myself will answer you."

    Jesus raised back to life a young man the son of a widow in the city of Nain(Luke 7:11-17) and he gave him back to his mother.

    The reasons these ones died again at a later date was because Gods Justice required a Perfect man to buy back what Adam had lost through diobedience Everlasting life, that is why Jesus is called the Ransom Sacrifice.

    God has an appointed time when he will apply Jesus' ransom sacrifice to every one who has died then we will know the full extent of Gods love for us.

    Jesus came to earth and died as a ransom in exchange for many Mathew 20:28, Just as the Son of man came, not to be ministered to, but to minister, and to give his soul a ransom in exchange for many.

    A perfect life was given to cover over Adams sin, this is what he passed on to us descendants of Adam, Jesus paid the ransom to buy back what Adam lost,everlasting life in a beautiful paradise where you can hold and cuddle your child again.

    You will be able to run on the beach together, to laugh together, to enjoy life , everlasting life with no sickness death or pain together as a family of five. Notice where Jesus resurrested these ones back to, it was to their families right here on earth. Isn't this what you would like right now, isn't this your hearts desire.

    He (God) is opening his hand and satisfying the desire of every living thing (Godly desires in accord with his will and purpose life forever on a beautful Paradise earth free from pain and suffering, no wars or violence, forever young and alive, doesn't this sound good to you Kelle Marie?

    So yes this is Gods Purpose and Gods will.. will be done on earth as it is in heaven. I have referanced further Biblical referances for you to look up in you Bible. By examining the scriptures we can see the truth of Gods word.

    Jesus raised Jairus' daughter Luke 8:40-56 Jesus ressurected her right back to life here an earth and gave her back to her family, how they must have rejoiced.

    Then there is the account of Lazerus raised from the dead by Jesus and given back to his family (John: 11: 24-26, 38-44.)

    Jesus comforted Martha with the words "your brother will rise Martha." Martha answered; "I know he will rise in the resurrection on the last day"-John 11: 17-24. Martha had strong reasons for her beleifs. She knew that Gods prophets Elijah and Elisha had raised a child earlier, with Gods power.




  • FallenEngel
    December 16, 2007

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    WOW

    this is really deep and in my own sense i know what its liek to lose ones child.
    sorry to your loss and things will get better just cry when things are down it helps

    great write


  • TexasMomma
    December 16, 2007

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    oh you have done a great job writing this one... you have really expressed yourself well and I can all to much relate to those feelings and emotions! Thanks for sharing this piece with us all! Hugs from TexasMomma...You are not alone my friend!


  • Spiritual Poet gold member
    December 15, 2007

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    awwwwwwwwww

    My dear one my heart goes out to you. You are celebrating Christmas down here but he is celebrating Christmas looking upon the savior whose birth we celebrate. Yes I know you hurt but you still have two precious ones you can love and cherish. They didnt die! God bless you my dear friend and may God bring you peace and happiness with Christmas with your family, Mark


  • Tripp gold member
    December 15, 2007

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    Deeply Touched

    I too have a son named Matthew. Of my four he is the only boy. I could not imagine what you are feeling and I don't know how I would feel. What I do know is that your words are of a mother who loves her children and of all the loves we feel in our lives, none is stronger. God bless you.

  • Dobar Dan
    December 15, 2007

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    Hello there - saw your poem featured

    so I came here to read it - my deepest sympathies to you - I cannot even imagine losing a child - a fully grown son - the closest I can come to understanding your pain is that my mother lost a 9 year old son - and she cried 50 years later when the subject came up - you ask how I would feel - well I would have to stand on the assurance that he is safe in the arms of Jesus - and some day we will be together again - you will probably have Christmas cries for more Christmas's - but with God's help you will overcome - Bless God - and Merry Christmas - Joe


  • Sandygram silver member
    December 15, 2007

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    Hello, I can feel the pain in every line you have penned. Losing my son Brian this year too has been the most painful thing I ever went through. I thought my miscarrtiages were painful but not as sorrowful as losing my Brian. A parent should never have to bury their child. You see everyone around enjoying the holidays and you wonder to yourself, don't they see how I am hurting. Most don't unless they are the closest family and friends. They understand. The rest wonder why you are so unhappy and distance themselves. I want to scream sometimes. And I do when I am alone. I hope you find strength in your faith and in God to get you through the holidays. I can't wait till they are over. I wish I could tell you it gets easirer but so far it hasn't for me. Its been 9 months of pain and tears. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you, Sandy

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    December 15, 2007

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    This is really sd but you are blessed so much look at your other children I know you will never forget Matthew and he is always with you much love to you and your family always


  • Talking Toni gold member
    December 15, 2007

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    Beautiful Family!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Kelle you were blessed with such a beautiful family my dear. Although it is now incomplete or so it seems. Embrace those you still have along with the precious memories from the time which this precious picture was taken!!! LOve in CHrist!!!~~Toni~~

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