It could have said loving mother,
caring daughter or devoted wife.
It could have said she was a best friend
constant giver and lover of life.
She had a brilliant smile
that would brighten your whole day.
She never had a bad thing to say,
that just never was her way.
She lived life to the fullest,
no regrets and full of pride.
She never worried about looking fancy,
but her beauty was hard to hide.
It could have said all these things,
on her final place of slumber.
Instead, etched in her grave stone,
was just her name and a couple of numbers.
A contest entry
- Make Me Sad by hey charlie.
470 points, ended February 20, 2008, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Positive: great idea for a poem and great delivery the rhyming was really well done
Negative: i wanted to know more about the character and why her grave was bare
great work and thanks for entering -
... I've tried to write about a million things here, but I can't seem to find words to express how moving your poem is. The simplicity and emotion was almost too much for me to handle. Thanks for entering.
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stop making me cry..
Wyatt this is amazing as always.
Angie
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You always speak so highly and fondly of your mother. She will be so touched that her beloved son still writes about her and reminds the world of what a wonderful person she is. Lovely write xx
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Aw, man, this is really good, Whyitt. Your style is so easy to pick out. It is really sad. The dead always seem to end up faceless.
<3
fishbone -
The last really got me. Such a sad state of affairs when this is what it boils down too. This really has given me food for thought. Thank you for sharing it. Good luck in the contest.
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I'm bookmarking this because I think it is so honest so real and it could be so true about any of us. I would love this as my epitaph, no matter how morbid that sounds.
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Wow this is wonderful, Such a bittersweet write and that ending, Excellent stuff. Best of luck in the contest
Bravo
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wow, the end of this is chilling, at least for me
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