I.. hear melancholic voices silently singing to me from depths
of the dark watery wells of my slaughtered Transylvania -
this dark place shrieking sadness from the cords of the lovers
wrongly accused, wrongly judged of adultery..
I have seen bloody sacrificals and victims desperately pleading
as I embraced my freedom without foreseeing the death of my own life.
And I shall never forget this.. my morbid cruelty -
how? I did not even laugh or cry, my facial expression was that of a
scream in a scratched, half-broken portrait hanging on the walls of
the forgotten.. I shall forever regret this:
My heavy steps increased deep fear into the hearts of mortals.
My steps echoed everywhere, in every hall, temple and sanctuary.
My restless thirst, my hunger..
My restless --
..my first lover!
The burning flames in my fiery eyes..
Scarlet heart pumping stolen blood!
My people crying, pleading!
My sins forever bleeding
into your immortal memories....
Author notes
Inspired by the song "The Beginning" from Bram Stroker's Dracula soundtrack.
This poem is about Dracula (obviously) and how he regrets being "the impaler" because he lost his love by committing more and more sins.
I also got inspired by the movie "Van Helsing". We all know the relation between vampires & Transylvania + Dracula.
A contest entry
- DARK writes PW by InMyFlames.
380 points, ended February 18, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rage of villians! by Dark Otter.
700 points, ended December 30, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .:. Take My Breath Away .:. by DecorusApparatus.
1400 points, ended April 14, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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...mmmmmm...shifting structures...varying adjectives...use of the first person singular pronoun to create a more in depth emotional experience...the possessive use of "my"...the whole context to me seems very in depth and introspective...
...very well done and good luck in the contest...I must say it was all done very well...
Oliver
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Well, well!
a poet in our midst. This free verse is truly compelling so that is why you make the finalist list.
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Awesome!
Very good write!!! My favorite lines were:
The burning flames in my fiery eyes..
Scarlet heart pumping stolen blood!
I honestly cannot tell you why though.....They just appealed to me!! Thank you for entering and Good Luck!! -
Awesome write, this was very interesting especially "I did not even laugh or cry, my facial expression was that of a scream in a scratched, half-broken portrait hanging on the walls of the forgotten.. I shall forever regret this: " loved that part, well done. Thanx for entering and good luck!
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this is a very amazing poem very good write
thanks for the entry -
This was really very well done! my favorte part was:
My people crying, pleading
My sins forever bleeding
Into your memories....
thank you for your entry!
All the best -
this is a very amazing write... You have the feel of regret..... yearning love but never having it.... well done an awesome write....... hugs and love Linda xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Though this isn't really on the topic of the contest i will keep it in because this is absolutley beautiful.
An amazingly gorgeous piece.
You're a great writer with the best potential.
" have seen bloody sacrificals and victims desperately pleading
As I embraced my freedom without foreseeing the death of my own life "
That's beautifully said and i believe, encompass the piece.
Great Write
Good luck in the contest
~IvoRy
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Thank you so much!
I apologise if it was a bit off topic but I'm so glad you decided to keep it, I feel so honoured!
Once again, thank you!
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This one has a very dark and in some way an angry voice to it. Quite good use of imagery and words, although I don't like the word 'crimson' since it's totally overused...
Maybe 'scarlet' or 'ruby' would be a good way to replace it?
anyway, thanks for the entry!
Leander -
"Of the dark watery wells of my slaughtered Transylvania -
This dark place shrieking sadness from the cords of the lovers" these lines are simply amazing i also love these line
"The burning flames in my fiery eyes
Crimson heart pumping stolen blood" welcome to the finalist list
Keep safe
Em
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very good amazing i like it dark and sorrow wow
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As a fan of vampires I love this. Dark mixed with sorrow. Beautiful.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Ooh, wow! This gave me shivers! I am a fan of Dracula (in fact I'm reading it right now), so this piece affected me especially. I love the word choice and the way you created a dark piece, while still keeping with it the voice of innocence. Amazing work, hun, keep it up!
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Very deep and absolutley amazing. It flowed so well. You write very intriguingly..I love it.
Great job, thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
Thank you very much for your wonderful entry. Very well penned indeed. Best of luck in my contest and a very Happy New Year!
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Loved it
I too am a great Dracula fan.I think Christopher Lee was tha best in the old Hammer Horror movies,Shiver!!!!! He must have had a great night out on the tiles with those blood shot eyes.Great poem, Ros
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