Freezing termperatures in the sea,
sharp daggers stab at my body.
Invisible hands pull me into darkness,
as the oxygen within me runs low.
I kick as hard as I can to survive,
I struggle continuously to break free.
Panic soon takes over me all at once,
I start to taste the salt from the sea.
I can feel my heartbeating uncontrollably,
as my vision becomes a watery blur.
Excruciating is the pain that I feel,
my body freezes up as I take my last breath.
I slowly raise my hands up and fall.
I fall forever into this dark void.
Finally reaching the very bottom,
I hit the sand and my body sinks in.
I remain here for eternity,
as razor sharp jaws rip me apart.
My body is scattered throughout the ocean,
all that is left behind are my broken bones.
Author notes
Picture Prompt
A contest entry
- Imagery -Picture Prompt by Swintha.
390 points, ended December 20, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Chilling...wew! That was an excellent write, with lots of feeling and imagery!! Great job!!
Lauren
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awesome work with this one!
perfect
Tasha
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wow this was powerful . very deep . why adults only though , I could see PG13 lol but not only adults. Thanks jeremy for sharing with us..
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Nicely done once again Jeremy..one ca almost feel yourself sinking into oblivion as you read this. Well penned,
Evan
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A very good take on the picture. There are those who fear the ocean and what it can do so easily. Your words created vivid imagery of that feeling and what happens after. Thank you for sharing with me and good luck in the contest. Keep writing poet. seamaiden ♥
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wow this is an amazing take on the picture and is beautifully written. well done and keep penning.
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Oh my - a very in depth piece of creative thought! Desolate in the wake of all things. Nicely penned!
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8
Very scary death and panic is all over the verses. As I read I could feel the write ractually falling.
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forgot the clappy men
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This gave me chills..I actually felt I couldnt breathe as I was reading. The words and the pictured flowed very well. A great job with this one, sweet friend.
Soulful Woman
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I've often wondered what it would be like to drown, not from the death stand point, just what it would feel like. Apparently a group of scientists did a study on it where volunteers drowned and then were brought back and it was found to be surprisingly peaceful (apparently). I really enjoyed the imagery of the last stanza, the idea that you can be scattered across something as vast as the ocean. Beautiful work Jeremy
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your poetry amazes me oh wonderful writer.
i love how your words just flow together. the ending is my favourite, but i also like the strugling part! -
The ending was a surprise to me as I expected the diver would be rescued. A very vivid write and all the best in the contest.
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oh and the pic did help take me down!!
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oh my goodness. i imagined this being myself and i traveled through this write. Jeremy you are an amazing writer. your imagery is superb in every way!!!
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"I remain here for eternity,
as razor sharp jaws rip me apart.
My body is scattered throughout the ocean,
all that is left behind are my broken bones."
Now that was the best verse you produced within that poem and it really summed up the overall feel of the poem for me. Thanks for entering.
-Swintha
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