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Pier Pressure




On the pier I want to meet with you
In my tuxedo,  stocking feet no shoes.
My shoulders keep the beat so true,
The moon and you are both the sweetest views.

The lines cut in your evening gown;
Enough to make my feet both leave the ground,
‘Cause I almost believe I’ve found
A way that you can best receive the sound.

Another precious memory;
A work of loving art and fantasy.
A moment that was meant to be;
A tale of loving hearts and ecstasy.

 



Oh, will you take my hand and sway?
We don’t need speakers or no band to play.
We truly understand today,
A silent dance is such grand display.

The moon and stars will tantalize;
A smiling supernova spans your eyes.
So I won’t overanalyze,
I'll just confess love is a damn surprise.

Another precious memory;
A work of loving art and fantasy.
A moment that was meant to be;
A tale of loving hearts and ecstasy.

 

 


Can’t get my head around this thing
And yet I can’t hold back I'm bound to sing.
Above the water ‘round we swing
As we'll intend to  leave the ground by wing.

We’ll fly deep in the misty night
Though neither one of us dreamed this delight
And I cannot resist the sight
The world will stop // we'll kiss tonight.

Another precious memory;
A work of loving art and fantasy.
A moment that was meant to be;
A tale of loving hearts and ecstasy.

 

 


And when the night must go away
The sun will beam its light to show the day.
I turn to you and slowly say.
"I truly wish all moments went this way."

I'll always know you'll be part mine,
A thousand miles away I’ll see you sign.
In spirit’s odyssey divine,
I'll know that you are lovely, free and fine.

Another precious memory;
A work of loving art and fantasy.
A moment that was meant to be;
A tale of loving hearts and ecstasy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

 For Dalaney

 

This was originally written in 2007 and has been heavily edited and rewritten for this contest, and should not be considered a prewrite.

 

 

This uses two rhymes per line: 


Pier I want to meet with you
In my tuxedo, stocking feet no shoes

These rhymes are to be read as accents above and beyond normal accents as indicated by their dual nature.

Then in the chorus:

Another precious memory
A work of lov-ing art and fan-ta-sy
A moment that was meant to be
A tale of lov-ing hearts and ecs-ta-sy

with the rhyming syllables of each line being accented on L1 and L3 and

L2 and L4 the highlighted words loving art and loving heart, as well as the words fantasy and extasy are intended to be read as stressed triplets.  

This poem does not use normal syllable counting to determine the rhythm. The rhyming syllables are all stressed beyond the norm, more like singing a song or a beat poem rather than classic reciting of words. If you work at it, you will see the rhythms.

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Tell of victories over demons!

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • PoeticLove
    September 2
    Edit | Reply
    Making love in a tuxedo and stockin' feet, how clever you are. have three bunnies


  • Sailor Ptolema gold member
    September 2
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful

    That's all there is to it

    Meg

    `


  • Amera gold member
    August 31
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    You devil you! I caught you making love to Lane and from her comment she loves it! LOL... Seriously, this is beautiful and told in verse by the master story teller himself. Bravo! Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera


  • Dalaney gold member
    August 31
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    i think you have rendered me speechless...no pun intended. this surely is what music must sound like,
    because when i read it, the movement of your words
    makes me want to dance. the definition of love?...i have found it here. Lane xxoo

    • Amera gold member
      September 1
      Edit | Reply
      After he gets his tongue out of your ear. You should teach him how to spell your pen name.

      • PerVirtuous Allan gold member
        September 1
        Edit | Reply
        Take the other ear and let's see if we can lift her off the ground without using our hands.
  • michellemybelle gold member
    February 13

    Edit | Reply
    Simply lovely, words of a loving memory shared, a connection made, a moment created, all in the name of pure spirit...I love that you can feel the freedom in this so well...as another is not meant to be caged, that has nothing to do with any type of love.
    blessings,
    Michelle

    cool hearing you read this also!


  • ellipsist
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this speaks to me neither of problem children nor of crazy fuck-ed up-ed-ness...






  • Dark Energy
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Behold!

    This is a poem of life and song... You can dance into a woman's heart. This poem is the key... that unlocks it.

    You are great my friend, never change who you are.

    Bravo!

  • Dalaney gold member
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    more lovely than the moon or the dance...
    this is exquisite in every way...you are
    truly a man with a poetic heart and soul.
    Now, if we could just tame that ornery side

    Love to you, Lane

1 - 21 of 21