If only you loved me
the way you promise
you do.
If only half of
your vows were true.
If only your words
were not so weightless
so easy to break.
If only your whispers
did not leave me
with a void, an ache.
If only you did
not speak in
tones of blue
and red.
If only you listened
not just to my voice
but to what I said.
If only you left
your lies like
I know you could.
If only you loved me
the way you promised
you would.
If only
If only
A contest entry
- Shakespeare hates your emo poems by katie-jo.
1000 points, ended December 28, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS [pre-writes allowed] by LeilaJayne.
425 points, ended January 17, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Titles part 2(more titles being added) by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 30, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
So many if only's. When what you want or habe planned goes astray these emotions seem to come out. Loved this part:
If only you listened
not just to my voice
but to what I said.
-
I really enjoyed reading this. Your rhyme was excellent and the fluidity of this was superb. I love free verse because you have no limits, but rhyme is always pleasant. While it is more difficult it is not always done well, but very good work.
Great write.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
Merry Christmas!
~katiebird
-
I really enjoyed this piece, the flow was great and the rhyme never missed a beat. I truly love rhyme poetry, always felt it's a more difficult form than free verse poetry. This is such a sad and painful read. It speaks clearly of heart break. The words chosen and spoken perfectly to allow the reader to feel the true heart break in this piece. Thank you for sharing it. Two thumbs up
Adding your comment:
