Hello again,
I see you there,
all alone;
alone and scared.
I can't help but see you, all alone;
I feel for you.
You are my friend, so i am writing this to you.
Today was regular:
Mom worked and Dad slept.
Me and Sis was doin' chores,
'till he got home and ruined it.
I wish you was there to see him, all rallied up and everythin'.
I seen him comin' up the street and ran for cover.
Sis she ran and locked herself in a bothroom.
I wish I could write more, but I must say something else.
All alone are we, us flower girls, sitting in the corner alone and scared, we put on a mask real quick, but it warn't no use.
I hain't seen no one like it, but his mask we could see right through.
He had fire in his eyes and his gut was a fire.
He warn't happy;
he thrashed everything and moved it around.
I wish you was there, so'n you could see him.
Papers are flying everywhere and the house looks worse'n heck.
He left and didn't say no more words.
Alone are we the flower girls on the floor, motionless.
Us flower girls have now wilted, in a days turn...
We is all alone, and now gone, burned at the rage of a fire.
A contest entry
- Untitled by warrior-eagle.
300 points, ended December 19, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a ruff draft, be brutal, but not too brutal, tell me what you think.
Comments
-
woah... this is...HORRIBLE
-
That was great Annie... really good. Keep writing and Happy Holidays!
-
good but it needs a lil' somethin'
-
WOW! Liz that was great!!! I loved the emotion! Absoulutely wonderful!!! I wasnt fond of the accent of the poem, but it was great!!!!! I loved it!!!!
♥Summer Moonstone♥
Adding your comment:
