Oh God
You conceived me as a human being yet I stretched
towards the traits of the various breeds
according to my suitability and according my mandates
I never remained dedicated to the human beings
I served as a fish under the water sometimes
obscuring me from this world
sometimes I dovetailed as a racing horse
evacuating behind the other contestants
I modulated many anatomies time and time again
and what you were performing I discern
though nobody was witnessing me
however you were ceaselessly chasing me
inscribing all my dodges
and grinning like a mother of the child
while her son is playing hide and seek with her
Oh God...
A contest entry
- What Do You See Now? (round 3) by just mercedes.
700 points, ended December 21, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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very nice work keep it up.
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wow
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Just made it then to Sagittarius .. I feel you also have the deep sensual feel of Scorpio .. but hard working, determination of your birth sign ..
an adventurous spirit my friend .. with brilliant ideals .. some now needing to be brought to ground..
positive momentum is gaining .. a clearer sense of direction un folds as ambitions have come to a point ..although may be inclined ..don't go full steam ahead .. structure and organise priorities..
Just ad a quick peek for you Prabhu
s 
Lib x x
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Brilliant!! through playful journeys and meanderings, as a Mother cares and watches .. affording free will .. and gently smiles and supports alwayss s dear poet .. Golden!! BRAVO
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again I say you are a golden poet. I think God has played hide and seek with me time and again.
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Wow I just went on a beautiful journey through words that filled me full of images that made my heart change its pace.
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Life is a hide and seek . We are constantly watched by God who like a mother showers all love and pulls our hand to the right track when we deviate. A wonderful write .I liked the line "grinning like a mother" .For a child a mother is always and should be smiling..
The Gold trophy is a crown to this poem.
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the terminal illness being the game of hide and seek
how habitual it may be, the easiness of reverting back to such a state, yet there's a tiredness in the game...wishing it would end or somehow fade from existence, but the craving for the watchfulness, protectiveness, someone on the constant search for you is so impossible to give up
I really liked this. at first I thought I would be put off by the Ooh God..," but in truth it wasn't a hindrance at all. -
This is a profound write - I sense in this poem your human nature, your humbleness towards the Almighty God. You have also written this poem on behalf of so many of us that 'play hide and seek' and 'dovetail' through life. Congratulations on your award. Frans
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Congratulations on winning the gold!...This piece appeals to me because of the image of God as mother at play with her beloved child yet using each instant as a teachable moment. I love the line, "you were ceaselessly chasing me inscribing all my dodges..." Beautiful. Peace, Rhonda
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thoughtful, beautiful. Thank you for looking so well at the prompt, and letting your mind respond. This is a wonderful poem, insightful, tender and troubled all at once. I like the form, the presentation, the loop from end to beginning. Well done!
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my bonus points I get for commenting aren't honoring you unless I send them that way which was inspiring
poet for our trepidation
the clincher of how this resets itself about different tryings is with the line "I modulated many anatomies time and time again" yet tying in as basis is not smashed in imitation or much. You seem to keep coming to your own by not finding that the narrowest, but for regardfulness with a sure survey never simply swayable. the energy need may have found congruence with a degreed appreciation now to run...
conscientously saw "evacuating behind the other contestants" as though cordiality got racingly decorticated for another decoration while we have to slow down to keep the given first to prime.
gorgeous could be the conlusion totally here,
also called
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great imagination
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superb
Unusual imagery and incredible power of persuasion. Reading such a poem is like deep sea diving, encountering surprises at every turn. Congrats!
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