Can you feel the pain radiate from me?
Caused by heartbreak and missery.
Can't see the light or feel the love...
Only the darkness and hate I'm trapped inside of.
It's like a lethal whirlwind...
Encasing me in darkness...reminding me of every sin.
But all i feel is the rage flowing through me...
Crushing my body in a blood stained fury.
As the sun dies and the ashes sift,
No more heart, no hope left to lift.
When the moon rises eternal night,
Crushing my love and diminishing the light.
Breaking my mind until there's nothing left inside,
But the darkness and fury that I hide.
Striking me with a force that makes me shake,
Making my bones snap and break.
The deciet and betrayal of every day...
Causes the pain that makes my heart decay.
I feel my vitals fading with every attack...
Dragging me into a world that's bleak and black.
A contest entry
- Pain or Love by XxESPNCHICKxX.
600 points, ended January 13, 2008, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - tell me about your shitty life. by halapalu.
300 points, ended January 18, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Dark by satan-.
460 points, ended March 2, 2008, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry! by BeautifullyBroken42.
300 points, ended May 6, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BLOOD STAINED TEARS (SUICIDAL LOVE) by Candy Morphine.
300 points, ended June 11, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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It's like a lethal whirlwind...
this is a very dark, very beautiful poem.
well done -
Gorgeous! Beautiful poem.... I don't even know where to start, but I'll just leave it at....you are AMAZING. Thanks for entering!
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i don't know if you noticed this while you were writing this, but whenever you rhymed, not only were the words perfect, but they had something to do with each other. i'll go down the list. whirlwind, sin, like there's a whirlwind of sin in your life taking over. night, light, they contradict each other. attack, black, when someone attacks you, you just see black around you. i love this a lot. thanks for entering, good luck!
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i like the title of this. the poem was very well written and i truly enjoyed reading it! Good luck in the contest and have a happy new year!
~NineTailedFox -
Fabtastic!!
I think this is a wonderful poem. You have portrayed the bleak angst and rage extremely well. Its dripping with darkness..my favorite theme. Very well penned indeed. All the best with it in the contest
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Good Luck...This is ones is pretty good.
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iv read this before
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seriously. what the hell happended to you?
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