"Requiem For a Broken Man"
Dad was a strict Navy Chief and Mamma just wasn’t quite right.
He had a mean streak and was always looking for a fight.
Mamma would talk to herself and her imaginary friends,
But she always loved me, even when she was making pretend.
I never knew family love, only saw it through other friend’s eyes
I chose my friends carefully, and put on a good facade,
I was a happy and go lucky kid, but was secretly on my guard,
That no one would find out, how much Dad like to use his birch rod.
Sometimes he would come at me for no reason that I could tell,
All I knew was that he made, my younger years a living hell.
Now I wasn’t a bad kid, just spirited with a mind of my own.
But it seemed he always blamed me, for all that he had going wrong.
After years of pummeling, both my body and in my head,
It all took its toll and affected my soul, made me wish I was dead.
I was Bad, I was no good I wasn’t what a son should be,
I started to believe there could never be, any happiness for me.
So the first week school was out, in my senior year,
I packed my bags and lit out, to get away from all I feared.
I kissed my mamma closed the door, never did looked back,
But because of him the rest of my life, always seemed out of whack.
I don’t know why, but my whole life I was always on self destruct
Whenever things seemed too good or were going too well I would go amuck
My work, My Life, my house, my Marriage and my three beautiful kids,
All suffered because I put my life, on the proverbial skids.
My children have left the nest and are now all grown
Andy , Kim And Darren are now having children of their own.
They call me once in awhile, but their feelings are undefined,
I think I am better off to them, out of sight, and out of mind.
So here I am today a broken man, divorced, out of work and all alone,
I live in a three room hovel now, reflecting on my life and how to atone.
Tears streak down my face as I reflect on my wretched past,
And of all those that I loved, and hurt feelings I have cast.
So Dad you did your job well, In The Navy way,
You broke my will to a point where it’s affected me, even till today.
In your later years you mellowed and I learned to forgive.
You were a hero to my kids,
But when it came to correcting them your opinions I forbid.
I am glad that they loved you, and gave you what I never could,
Love, trust, and respect as any normal family should.
I will never forget your last words to Andy my oldest son,
They stabbed me like a knife,
They were Words that I strived for all my young and adult life.
You looked at me then looked at him and muttered with a slight grin,
“You’re a Good Boy Andy and I love you”
Tears rolled down from my eyes as I wondered with chagrin,
Why those words never came to me, at any time from him.
If there are any lessons to be learned from this piece that I just wrote,
I guess it would have to be Love your children, give them praise.
Tell them when they are good or do things right, and that you are amazed
Instill in them confidence, and they will make you proud, in many, many ways.
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