I have always been running
Always escaping
I ran from my past
And my future
I ran from both of my parents,
And all of my friends
I avoided love in any way
I didn’t believe in it
I didn’t believe I was worthy
I became excellent at lying
To the point where even I would believe
I was ashamed of everything
Everything I was becoming
I knew everything would crash
But I believed I deserved it
But then something must have slipped
And I cannot honestly tell you why
He would always look directly in my eyes
When we spoke
He was always completely and utterly honest
No matter the situation
He completely accepted me
Even though he saw right through me
He was everything I never knew I always wanted
Running seems pointless now
Everything is still and clear, like never before
For once in my life
I said the thing I feared most
I told the truth
I told him
And everything
I thought I was escaping,
My past,
My future,
Happened
Christmas is lonely again
Like every Christmas before,
But at least this time
I have my family and friends,
He walked away from me
But I don’t regret a thing
I stopped running
And that’s the truth
All I want
Is forgiveness
From those who have loved me
Thank you for your patience
And your faith
That I would come back
I'm here now
Author notes
Every bit of this is the truth
A contest entry
- It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas - (Options) by Florida Sunshine.
525 points, ended December 16, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Secrets Untold by nonya.
525 points, ended January 18, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow thats realy sweet. Thank you for entering.
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Well, now ...
sometimes we get a second chance in life. Perhaps this is yours.
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Wow this gave me chills~ in a good way~ it's beautifully written, ~ I personally think that poets that find a way to take a subject and relate to it personally tend to really come up with something amazing.
I'm not sure of your age, but I'll give you my two cents on it... I did something in a drunkin' night that hurt a good friend. Of course he's not my friend any more.... I honestly don't blame him. I was the one being stupid. I used to wish for the same thing, and think of that stupid night often, the regrets I feel regarding that night haunts my spirit. I tried as hard as I could to find him, to no avail. As the years past, I started to pray to God for forgiveness of what I had done... to him... .... I was talking with an older wiser friend... he said, Forgiveness starts in your own heart... You need to be sorry for what you've done then forgive yourself. I actually laughed when he said it.... Overtime I started to realize what he meant. I've been punishing myself for my own actions, the guilt for what I had done was made by me... I needed to understand what I had done was wrong, and forgive myself for my actions knowing I would never do that again.
If by chance~ I happen to run into John again.... I will tell him how over the years I felt real bad by what I did that night. I will tell him I'm really sorry. If he forgives me ~ that will be great ~ and if he don't forgive me, I will just have to accept that. But, no matter what I can't be beating myself up over one night of stupidity.
.... I know I ramble for a silly contest ~ but don't beat yourself up too much ~ start with forgiving yourself... as your life changes for the better others will see ~ your not the same.
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