in a recent past
your hand touched
my smile
now silent tears
fill an empty space
reflected by the moon
and the absence of you
Author notes
prompt:
picture and song Tears in Heaven
running late, very late! will come back to edit.
A contest entry
- ~* In What Voice Can You Speak *~ by Desire.
525 points, ended December 17, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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joining your fan-club ...
you really know how to push those buttons and pull those strings, don't you ?
mari-still on
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This is purely beautiful. It paints a picture on its own. Brilliantly done and very well deserving of the gold trophy win. Amazing poetry!
♥ Bandaid.
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Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: empty space
Oh My
Powerful piece with emotions that drip from Your quill
Love the metaphors used also the words:
in a recent past
and
your hand touched
my smile
This tugs at the heartstrings
Beautifully versed
Thank You for sharing Your Heart also
Your Talent!
**Judging will be done shortly
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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The infamous poem.
Any questions as to how much power this poem carries? No, I think I showed you quite clearly how effective it is....
That is the what's his face song right? Right.
You have this way of eating right through my self-defenses, those I've placed there to keep from feeling hurt. You so much of your poetry does just that, if finds the vulnerable spots and seeps right through.
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There is a quality in your writing that I find haunting. Your sadness offers joy just for reading you, and than I feel guilty. You own emotion. --- Thank you
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Don't feel guilty! It makes me happy to know you feel joy when reading my poems, I feel joy writing them
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Wattle is right, very observant of him...I've told you similar things before. Glad to see someone else sees it too.
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Wonderful piece. Touching, sensitive wrapped in the feelings of absence.
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a gentle sadness here, thoughts sometimes bring memories and sadness, but it is as if we have been enriched by something and we miss it...so very well done here...PK
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like the duality here, both in what is said and what
is not. On surface perhaps just being in love, missing
and awaiting a lovers return, but below surface, a subconscious healing by the love of now, slowly healing the scars of past.
We also have dual in that it could just be waiting
someones who is returning or someone who has left
and isn't coming back, the "choice" of the reader,
so will touch them irregardless of which their present condition is right now...
Happy Holidays...hugs...Eddy
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There is quite a sadness within your words lately sweet mommer, the kind of sadness that reflects devotion, but not being able to show the person - be it physically or mentally (but I'll go for the first option)...
very well written!
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