You have ripped me down
To prove
I couldn’t handle it
I destroyed you
You stripped me naked
To destroy
My pride
I destroyed you
You yanked my hair out
To prove
Beauty was all that counted
I destroyed you
You took advantage of me
To show
I was worthless
I destroyed you
You plunged the dagger
To prove
I was mortal
I destroyed you
You tried to destroy me
To prove my weakness
Belongs to you
I destroyed you, for the last time
Author notes
“The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death”
A contest entry
- Be inspired by the quotes! by Beating.
450 points, ended December 28, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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The one thing no one can ever escape is DEATH!!! Nice write on the subject...
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i liked the repetition,just everything about it really.so much power behind so few words,and your style of writing is awesome!
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WOW.. Molly this is an outstanding poem.. such strong words, that I believe are great. the emotions that I can feel while reading this are beyond what I expected. you did an excellent job with the prompt.
I love it..
love you
mommy
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This is a great write. It has a real nice flow to it.
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woo weee
wooooo wee!! that is awesome!!! i loove it!! great job!
i dont kno how pplz can rite such great poems like that.. 
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wow. a very unique poem here. i liked the take on this prompt and the points that you raised. the flow was unique, but good. really, a fantastic job. i wish i could write like this. great job.
~David -
I think you did well with the quote. I like how you've shown how your weakness was trying to be destroyed - and how you triumphed by overcoming. I especially like your last verse - perfect for this.
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Great Stuff!!
Less is more, so much said in so few words...
The repetition throughout adds a sense of drama to the piece...
Well done!!! -
awesome
i think the poem is very effective because of the repeated line "i destroyed you" i found it very relatable and generally awesome =)
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Wow, what a great way to take the quote... I think this was a really good write, the repetitions worked really well here.
Thanks for sharing!
Keep up the great work!
Annie
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OMG! I really love your poetry. Please don't leave AP
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This poem is brilliant! It is also very instense! It is so dark, and it stirred emotions that I don't normally feel. This is a great poem, you really captured a powerful theme.
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as ever you look in my poems
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WOW!
This really was a "striking poem"
and then the author notes, the last enemy tht shall be
destroyed is death."
clever,clever, clever!
Wow...what a striking poem!
ears/Seattle
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This is a great write!!!!Dark and very strong it explains how you feel etc. i love the theme!!please check out my new poems and comment x thanks x
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This is a great write.
dark and powerful
defeating death i just loved this
great job.
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Good Write
Dark but it comes into the light because you destroy death getting rid of the hurt and indignations it cased you keep writing.
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Ok I absoultly love this write, I normally do not like writes with the same line through out, yet you pulled this off wonderfully, this poem speaks so much depth and then such wise wisdom.
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This is absolutely amazing and I definitely relate. Especially with some of the disasters going on now for me
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I really like this because it can be so freely interpreted. It's a poem that just about anyone can read and most likely relate to. It's so easy to draw personal meanings from these vague and simple stanzas.
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WOAAAH. There's so much power and rage in this I LOVE IT. wonderful work.
xoxo
pixi -
Victorious
I like the idea of Death in defeat, and I think you are referring to that. This works well, I think! I like the set up portion of each stanza followed by victory over death!
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Very nice, strong and well written ^_^
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wonderful take on the prompt
wow..what a unique interpretation..the slowly dying, the killing each other in a bad relationship..great metaphor..thanx so much for sharing..great write..hugs a bunch..
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loved it
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The picture this piece creates in my mind is that of a midget confronting a monster and notwithstanding the massive strength and terror exhibited by the giant, the lesser being is still able to throw punches and spit defiantly.Hope we actually do this to death someday!
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this is awesome
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I've been looking around this site seeing all these deep and meaningful poems with metaphors and similies etc. and they just dont get to me; but this, it really works for me.
Well done. -
I destroyed you!!!
Po-w-er-ful, how can you not love that. Thanks for the great read and thank you for your comment,
Creatress
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wow. this is amazing! i rele like it!
very clear message fer a short peice! very nice the way you speak of how death gets in your way but you defeat it!
kudos!
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I destroyed you !!! nice !! you did well dear . short and to the point . thanks for sharing !!
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This is very simple, and the repetition is really good. I think you could add more to this. Right now I like all that's unsaid in this piece, but maybe it's too much? I think you could make it even better.
Other than that, good job!
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