It was all silent
Except for the river making its quiet trikling sound.
A healthy blue river in an unkown resort as the sun rises.
Where the river goes only it knows.
It twists through the mountains.
A kangaroo lying under a bush after the night's energy.
a few birds started to wake and sing their song to the rising sun.
a kukaburra laughing as has survived the night.
a distant hiss of a hiding snake as it settles from the night hunt.
and owls last hoot as he sleeps on a tree branch.
the gentle sun warming what the moon had cooled.
the burning summer sun gentel in the sleeping moring.
the orange tinge on every thing vivsible as the sun lays low.
the moringing began softly as we walked along the river bank.
a silent walk along the path.
a path as twisted and unkown as the river.
a good friend as my companion.
a gentle breeze whispering secrets in out ears.
a dead end to the paved path, and a lost dirt trail to end it.
Author notes
dont think, just write and it will come to you
A contest entry
- 2007: In Retrospect (NEW OPTIONS ADDED) by Metaphorist.
600 points, ended December 30, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imaginary by know one.
750 points, ended August 29, 2008, 109 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Those times when u feel you can relax
Comments
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cool!
I like the discriptions you used in this poem,thanks for entering my contest! -
Aussie trail i follow
Good, you already know his heart. A companion and a mate, a wolf mates for life. Look for one that shares your loves.
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I like the imagery in this piece, but maybe it was a little overdone in the description department. In particular, some of the descriptions were repeated such as the sun rising and the twisting of both the river and the path. These could be tweaked and have other words used or removed altogether. But like I said, there are some beautiful images in this.
Typos:
line 2 "trickling:
line 3 "unknown"
line 8 "it has"
line 12 "morning"
line 13 "visible"
line 14 "morning"
line 18 "our ears"
Sorry, I'm a stickler.
Thanks for entering though. I hope it didn't sound like I don't like it. I do; just offering some constructive criticism.
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