Baby can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Awake from the coffin he's imprisoned you in
You must
I need you here
He's dug his claws into your feeble body
Injected you with his lies
Filled you with his poison
And moulded you out of shape.
I'm begging you arise and awake from your grave
Run from him
Run
(To Me.)
Promise me you won't believe his lies
Promise me you won't feast in his underworld.
I beg you.
Close your eyes and shut your ears
(I'll guide you.)
Do not let him overtake you
(Promise me you'll still look at me in the same way
Promise me you'll hold me like you did
Promise?)
The line 'I'll guide you' should it be moved? It's buggin' me
Comments
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That was some love sick, horrific(in a good way) overpowering and very ctreative. I like the vampire theme or at least that is what i got out of it. Im a horror movie fanatic so i loved it and all of its dark imagery. Good flow
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Very good
Yes drop it, it's not needed. The poem uses unusual and imaginative subject matter to make a statement and is clever in its use. You paint a picture with words that bring your memories alive in the reader's mind, and we too can appreciate your world filled with imagination and dread. The author uses good imagery and maintains a poetic flow through the whole piece. The raw emotions within your words capture your heart with their strength of love while devastating the soul with their passion.
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