Come, sever my horizon
that my heart might split in two
half to anchor here at home
and half to roam with you
Pour my soul into the bay
that I might swim to sea
in teal waters, find my way
to where you sail free.
lean your head in close my sweet
that I might kiss you now
and place this token of my love
upon your weathered brow.
Author notes
Many Thanks to Michael Fantina ~ whose kind words and brilliant mind inspire and encourage.
Cheers, mate.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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sweet longings
Tilly, I am so pleased that I have come here to check out your newest creations and I am suitably impressed. I absolutely love the opening line, wow what a visual! This poem seeps hearfelt longing and understated love. Fabulous my dear Tills, fabulous!
ferg
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This was a beautiful poem. Amazing imagery. Yes Michael is a brilliant poet. I often told him he was the best on AP. I truly believe he is. Thank you for sharing your wonderful poem. Take care, Sandy
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Thank you for the kind words, Sandy- and we are in agreement as far as Michael is concerned. He is talented- and kind. A wonderful combination in any poet.
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This was a very soft flowing rhyme.
I was getting a wistfully free and kinda fun vibe. I dont really know why but I was.
Well done.
Delila
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another master piece...
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Severed horizons struck me as a tad bizarre – particularly as it results in a coronary bifurcation… does that happen a lot up there? I do like the extended metaphor though and particularly teal waters; much improvement on sheldrake shores or mallard marshes…
Minor ps – I thought the song might work but hate the ‘do’ in sail free – perhaps it was a typo¿? Oh and the seasons greetings… may you always have sage words freshly minted¡!
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There are worse things than bifurcation- though none spring immediately to mind. Perhaps that labotomy wasn't such a grand idea, wot?
Lovely to see you again, mate. How are things downunda, Pom?
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bravo
Short, yes, but potent, fluid, lyrical with fine rhyme and meter throughout, excellent! Loved it! Loved it! bravo ... bravo... bravo...
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Has the makings of a good song with a tweak here and there, like thus for the chorus...
Come, sever my horizon
that my heart be split in two
half to anchor here at home
and half to roam with you
Pour my soul into the bay
that I might swim to sea
upon teal waters, find my way
to where you do sail free.
lean your head in close, my sweet
that I might kiss you now
and place this token of my love
upon your weathered brow.
Let us ride the bobbing waves
till we're cast once more to land
Returning us from wobbly legs
back to where, did firmly stand
Happy Holidays...Eddy
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