headlines:
she's very cold.
a white coverlet blankets her
muffled frigidity;
in search of warmth
she's a spontaneous white:
frozen now,
she will
thaw...
A contest entry
- blizzard- 3 hours by Cat.
500 points, ended December 14, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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excellent use of the metaphor
it works both ways...good luck in the contest
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I love to read the comments I just don't understand the idea that illustrations distract from a writer's work ... to me they compliment ... but then I'm admittedly a bit too kindergartenish in my love of the picture book But how could a picture at the top of the page distract from a powerfully written piece like this one? I mean, you could put a picture of perky spring flower at the top and I would still feel the chill and frost in this ... but I would also see through my own curiosity how that picture fits into the poet's vision, and it would reinforce the essential message in the work ... here it's the promise that experience knows to expect (i.e. the thaw and a new beginning)... least ways, that's what my imagination sees ... picture or no picture ... but pictures are fun
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yes she will.. this was white and
full of emotion
white and full of promise
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Was not at all keen on the background, I found it distracting and you write to such a calibre that you do not need to compound the ethos of a piece of poetry by pictures yet that is not a criticism,just a perspective from myself and many others may well appreciate and validate it so please take no offence,for the true liberty and beauty for myself is the liberty to share opinion without meaning or motive to disaffect.
Liked how the title deftly stepped into the poem,that you were able to write such a compact piece that has so,so much impact ( that is skillful )
Liked very much the usage of description and the language used.
Loved the positivity within the ending within "she will thaw"
Time and circumstance, circumstance and time enable us to feel either the coldness or the heat within and that, that which leaves us without...
Excellent.
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i appreciate your comment about the background and have changed it - i never use them usually and your comment supported my fears
thank you
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I like the relation of the ending with the title - beautiful and succinct poem
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this is lovely, Elaine... loved the spontaneous white.
~ Nicolette
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I Hope so.
and when She does, please tell Her to let me know how it is done.
I like this, really a lot.
Feels like me (and I'm a poet, so you know, ego rules)
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