Deaths egress forsaken,
Impelled to guilt immersed crepuscule.
Heavens domiciles refutation of tainted aphotic passions.
Dissolutive carrion of societal quietus,
Raped the corporeal amenities
And lacerated from hallowed sensory.
Accused of salacious obsession,
Condemned to nigrescent agony.
She falters, chained to purgatories anorexic expanse.
Stained of quondam essence burdened ruby broth,
Driveling downward for choice loam to be reborn.
Present in obsidian abyss she will linger,
With lone herself to censure.
In a list
A contest entry
- 'Banished' - Dark Pic Inspired by Tattboyspet.
300 points, ended December 15, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ SET the BAR ~ Anything Goes~ Possible of 5750 points handed out! by Florida Sunshine.
950 points, ended February 24, 2008, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Dark Writes Here (Series - II) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1500 points, ended March 27, 2008, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very dark and eerie... I like your echoed words here. You have used perfect words to set the scene here and to make us within a few amount of lines feel awkward and nervous, or so it does me anyways.
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You certainly have an outstanding vocabulary ~ an interesting write ~ to say the least ~ I think the only thing I can say about this ~ is I don't feel for her ~ I don't hate her, like her, I don't feel bad for her, or even glad for the things she's done theres no compassion "feeling"~ I feel more like it's what I know ~ or what it is ~ though I feel like its meant to be purposely written this way. ~
I do appreciate you entering the "Set the bar" contest ~ I am happy you shared your work with me ~ best of luck to you! -
you may have confused a few with such elegant speech but this screams with the insanity of her dark depression. Great job, my friend
Joe
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thank you for your entry - I have handed the judging over to Tattboy as I'm having a problem with this contest - all the entries are so good
He will judge it soon 
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I don't think I got some of that on account of the words that aren't in my vocabulary but it flowed well and the general sentiment from what I understood was great!
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ok, I am not big on big fancy words, not for lack of liking them but for understanding them. I had to read several times then break out the dictionary....lol...after that I got the picture, and I love it, great job, and best wishes in the contest
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Had to read a few time to really let it sink in. The picture and words are like a marriage. Go hand and hand. I don't think the grammar used takes away from the read if anything it makes it more dark to me. Wise like a dead soul. This is brilliantly dark and sinister in emotional damnation.
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okay, I had to, unfortunately, look up a word or two in here (despite the fact that the English language is one of my passions) which actually seemed to take away from this write for me
There are a few lines in here that really hit home though - well done and thank you for your entry
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