You sit
in the corner of the
bus station window;
smudging your white trash pallid
blue eyeshadow from lid to brow
with chalk-like fingertips,
colour blending in with your
chlorine eyes, you do your
best to camouflage the acne
playing connect the dots
on your blushed cheeks, and use
your cigarette fingers to paint
geisha lips the colour of candy apples
with precision.
I overheard you talking drama
about lines on the table to the homeless
looking man lacking teeth
with slurred speech.
I can't help but feel sorry
for you and your thin brown hair,
newly made up face and oversized sweater,
ten years out of date. I bet you could be
real pretty if done up properly.
You probably had a dream once, wanted
to be somebody?
The new year is here
full of wasted resolutions.
Why don't you make yours
one worth remembering?
Author notes
This was written about a young woman I saw on my way to school in December.
Please tell me what you think and be honest!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this is really great, i like it a lot, i can almost see the person waking down the street as i read this, best of luck in the contest
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i hate to admit it but this is probley the story of many a person in our society.
awesome poem
take care -
Wow, great work with this one.
The imagery is wonderfully done
and I love the way that you
described this person on the bus.
Well done and thanks for sharing
it with us all here. Keep up
the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826 -
i like your last para.. its very thoughtful of you to write a poem on this woman... well as grannyeri already said you see many induviduals in bus
i liked how you sketched your picture with words, and how you related her feeling too.. its not always easy to understand and see a person
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One sees all kinds of people at a bus station; the elderly who do not drive anymore, the young who cannot; the poor, downtrodden souls who are lonely, and those who travel as a family to visit relatives. As well there are those looking for work and travel by bus anywhere the is opportunity for jobs. Very close detail presented in this poem.
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Hm... The title threw me for a spin at first. I reasonably thought the poem would be about a gorgeous woman at a bus station! Not exactly. It's certainly an interesting write. I'm not sure what to make of the ending. It almost seems judgmental or condescending one way, in another it could be sympathetic. Either way it comes off as a tough truth, and fits the poem well. The descriptions "chlorine eyes" and "geisha lips" are terrific! What great imagery.
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i love the ending!
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i like the detail in this one! I can really visualize the situation at hand here, it's nice.
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awww! good suggestion. i like this. this is the type of peom that i would write and add bits and pieces here and there until it is finished. i am forever writing a poem and adding things to it years later. i dont know what else you could add. i think its all in the mind of the author. so far youve managed to do brilliantly on your own. mind checking out my poem? By Your Side?
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I like this. I like how you empathize with the pain they must feel. I often wonder what was so bad in life that they gave up. I don't think it's as easy as just wanting to start over. Esp. when they've gone that far. Well penned!
Peace and Love
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