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Deafening silence

I must try to explain this
Without speaking
So I guess I have to show you
But I'm not sure how
I want to use words
But I don't know what to say
It would be easier telling you I hate you than the opposite
It isn't easy telling someone everything
Because they can laugh in your face
If I say what I want..
If I fully tell the truth...
What if I get what I expect?
Not only would I feel silly, but now that it's out my heart is easier to break
If I say it, I can't take it back
So I sit here confused
The worry isn't only to admit it but the answer I recieve
I'd say, "I love you"
He'd say...
I must ask,
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

Author notes

My thoughts written onto paper
Failure

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    I feel like it could be worded much better in order to get your message across with more strength. It's sort of so-so, but the content I do relate to. Good job, thanks for the entry.


  • Michelle-Elizabeth
    June 9
    Edit | Reply

    Thumbs up

    I think alot of people can relate to this. The way you described the feeling is so simple, yet with so much power and emotion.

    "I must try to explain this
    Without speaking
    So I guess I have to show you
    But I'm not sure how
    I want to use words
    But I don't know what to say"

    Love that part
    Keep writing thanks for entering, and best wishes


  • Aajdj
    April 3
    Edit | Reply

    nice


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    April 1
    Edit | Reply
    great lines

    Favorite liness:

    "But I don't know what to say
    It would be easier telling you I hate you than the opposite
    It isn't easy telling someone everything
    Because they can laugh in your face
    If I say what I want..
    If I fully tell the truth..."


    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest

  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    • if you would please space your name out in your AN like this : X x D r o w n . M e . D r y X x . Just out a space between each of your letters. Please. If you chose not to thats fine but i would like you you give me a reason. Thank you for putting your username in you’re an but I need it spaced as previously specified.


  • Lislaine
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OMG i can so relate to this! Wow its just like u read my mind LOVE IT


  • Heartless Angel
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this totally sounds like something I would write. Please take that as a compliment. The feelings in this poem are raw and real. I love the idea of "deafening silence" and how it ties into the title. Sometimes people write the title into the poem just so that it counts, but this worked its way in well. Very nice job. Good luck in the contest!


  • dead-love-for-fun
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it


  • creationsfromheart
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    aw much better

    so much easier to read now


  • creationsfromheart
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love the write but the background and light font make this for hard reading.


    • Simp
      December 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment. I just lightened the words a bit.

  • dannytall
    December 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Love it Tye <3

    • Simp
      December 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ahah sorry you had to sign up to comment. But you may want to add your poetry to this site one day. Use it, I would love to read something from you.

1 - 13 of 13