This winter would be a grizzly one
The frigid wind sent nightmarish chills up my spine
Rain drops felt like ice solidifying in my veins
The fog so low and thick wrapped around me like the clammy hands of death
The bare branches looked like skeletal bones
Their remaining leaves reeking of decay
The moon has hidden the sky is pitch black
The ugly accusing night embraces me....
I shiver
What did you think
Comments
-
I like it. It's not really dark in which i write my poems mostly but it has a atmosphere of it's own, making the read share your feelings. Nice writing.
-
Needs work, maybe some different word choices in spots, but a good first draft. I especially like
the line "The ugly accusing night embraces me...."
for that gets right to the "primal core" of things
and that is where fear originates and is the darkest.
There is a mixing of past and present tense, maybe would be best to keep all in present tense so the reading can experience it "as it haappens"
I got hot cocoa and a fire going so feel free to drop by and warm up if you git too cold...
Wishing you a lovely weekend....Eddy
Adding your comment:
