At the altar of ourselves,
we genuflect, reflecting
on how the moments between our bodies
will swell
with all the spiral miasma of the first Becoming
and then collapse
with all the frailty of words.
Eden rises to press Her chest against the sun, parting her legs;
We are the sacrament taken into Her blushed womb,
where athanasia grows, humming like fruit;
its juice chimes on our tongues like thunder.
Pulsing, the earth bellows in florid ecstasy of itself;
With all its choir-lit roots and strings from the sinuous sky,
its shattering birds hang occultly in existence;
we die.
And gently, you claim our divinity by moaning,
deep and billowed-white rivers into my mouth.
We are as still as Light.
Author notes
"...And I will be your Eve."
I am You are Me.
(He is my Heart is Him.)
Enjoy judging your contest.
In a list
A contest entry
- What is your heart? by tara wilson.
1000 points, ended December 26, 2007, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PIF: Prewrites Contest for My Favorites by Night Hope.
900 points, ended June 13, 2008, 29 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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"At the altar of ourselves,
we genuflect, reflecting
on how the moments between our bodies
will swell
with all the spiral miasma of the first Becoming
and then collapse
with all the frailty of words."
I think you know by now how much I admire, enjoy & am inspired by your incredible weavings of words, Jen. I still think this one is completely beautiful, filled with such glorious intimacy & sensuality...& without a singular vulgarity, which kills the romance, to me. (So many people cannot seem to grasp the differences between sensual, erotic & pornographic writing, it astounds me). Ahhh, but you, my Friend...you consistently raise the bar for yourself, let alone for the rest of us mere mortals. 
Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck, Sweetie. 
Wanda
Here's to the webserver's short-term memory loss...& if not...Have some more anyway.
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Sensuality hand in hand with spirituality is the best combination. In the old light, it cannot be understood (nor appreciated)- in the new light, one could not exist without the other.
I love your meandering down this version of Eden's rosey path because of its fire.
This beginning:
"At the alter of ourselves,..."
uses alter instead of altar. This is no error as these words are interchangable both in meaning and in practical application. In fact, tells an entire story of the "altar of ourselves". THE story behind the story.
thanks for this,
chalice -
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Both of those - sensuality & spirituality - have been my favorite coupling in writing poetry lately. Indeed what a combination!
My exchange of "altar" for "alter" was not quite as cleverly quipped as you proposed - obliviously accidental in fact. I pondered to myself for a moment over whether I should amend that word slip or leave it and play "witty" as if I'd planned all along. I've decided to change it, but not without a certain appreciation for your optimism while reading my work. Thank You for that, and for the pleasant commenting, as always.
jen
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This poem is both sensual and spiritual. I like that combination and I love the last couple of lines. Good luck in the contest.
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I love the first stanza, leading to
"and then collapse
with all the frailty of words."...sigh, so true.
I love 'at the alter of ourselves'....
I LOVE:
"And gently, you claim our divinity by moaning,
deep and billowed-white rivers into my mouth.
We are as still as Light."
moments like this give us athanasia, do they not?
I like the imagery in this...it is definately a poem to be read more than once..there were two poems in this contest that took me into a totally different realm, of their heart, and stand out, this is one of them...thanks for entering my contest..
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Athanasia is indeed something to be awed over (and what a beautiful word, eh?). So glad you enjoyed the piece and glad you invited me to enter your contest. God knows what can happen when we sit down with words.
Enjoy your judging. Hope you find what you were looking for.
jen
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"And gently, you claim our divinity by moaning,
deep and billowed-white rivers into my mouth.
We are as still as Light."
And I'm still as light now too after reading this poem. This is excellent - so very sensual, yet written with a deeper understanding of what lovemaking is all about. I simply love this poem - and I agree with Zayra, more people should read you. Excellent poetry - I'm bookmarking this one.
~ Nicolette
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Oh, a bookmark! How exciting. Thank you for the pleasant comment; it always means so much.
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"And gently, you claim our divinity by moaning,
deep and billowed-white rivers into my mouth.
We are as still as Light."
Magnificent. Utterly. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie. Wanda
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Thanks so much, Wanda, for your ever-present kind commentary. Means so much.
jen.
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you really should get a lot more attention for your poetry than you do....really....you are an exceptional writer.
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Thanks so much for both of your comments. I really have been morphing as a poet during the past year - delving further into spirituality particularly. It means a lot to get such a kind word from an admirable poet as yourself.
jen. -
I concur, my Friend. G'night, Sweetie.
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