Melancholy smile
the final fading remnants
of sanguine dreams
Float through clouded moons
of salt encrusted memories
on gossamer wings
Tattered strips of Oak
strewn like ashen soldiers
at open hearths gait
Cashmere lined crypt
of insanity's reverie
echoes the wisdom of shadows
Transcripts of withered testimony
fall like dragon tears
into the parched throats of promise
As a cacophony of wayward souls
embed themselves in the tempestuous caverns
of hearts devoid of desire
Author notes
Prompt: try and write something to confuse the contest host.
A difficult challenge, I hope I made an acceptable attempt.
In a list
A contest entry
- For the love of god CONFUSE ME by h202.
450 points, ended February 10, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MOTIVATE AND INSPIRE ME by Salt Therapy.
375 points, ended March 30, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Detailed critique welcome
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
confusing
but.
enchanting.
11 out of ten sounds cliche
but 9 out of 10 isnt enough.
get the point....?
lol
Love,
Sarah
-
this is impressive. i do feel that you could easily use punctuation to strengthen the ideas in this and reinforce them too, but that's ok. still good.
-
excellent from top to bottom. will surely comment again when i have time to properly evaluate this and wrap my head around it.
-
confusing yes, but it is so beautiful that I don't mind getting lost in it
Does that make any sense???
Fantastic imagery and metaphor
I love it......
Lynda
-
-
Thanks for the lovely comment cousin, it's about how people get lost in the wilderness of life and seem to lose their desire to strive for long held wishes of the heart. Also that hope is always waiting on the horizon for us to embrace it.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
