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I Am the Same

All are unique
but thus the same
Still people contradict
some one who is the same?
I am the same as you or him
I breath and walk and listen
You act like I'm not here
You treat me this way ?
Someone who is the same?
You push and prod me to the back
You act like I'm cattle and should be owned
Would you do this to your own child
to some one who is the same?
I turn around
and yet see another wall
Something to keep me from achieving what I must
You treat me this way yet there someone right next to you
Someone who is the same!
People spat as I walked past
Leaving me standing there in utter shock
You shouldn't treat me this way someone who is the same!

Author notes

Speaking In Pain Harriet Tubman
rawr Monkey
Grand theft Autumn
by notsotorturedartist

A contest entry

constructive critizism welcome

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Luminescence
    March 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really don't like how you used the word "same" so many times... you could have used another word. But I did like the topic of the poem. My suggestion- change some of the "same"s into different words that mean the same thing.

    Title- 8
    Diction- 6
    Syntax- 6
    Wowness factor- 7

    Total-27

    Thank you for your submission,
    ~lumin


  • vampireblood
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    We are all the same yet different in many ways. I liked this piece, it was unique. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~Vampy~


  • Simply Simple
    February 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this. It is so sad that this is very true. There is so acurate was to explain the injustice but you got as close as I have ever seen. Amazing. Please add your Author's Name to your Author's Notes. (Unless it's already there and I missed it. If so... just tell me what is it then lol) Welcome to the finalists list.


  • genevieve3
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    we are all the same yet different, in so many ways. Embrass what others refuse to see, thats where youll find your true beauty!

  • ecrivain01
    February 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Prejudice is sick ...

    and evil, but it's mostly based on religion. Religions preach and teach it. I believe you mean "achieving", not "archiving".



  • Shancy Fayre
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like what this poem says and how it says it.
    Such a strong meaning makes a difference to the world.
    Great job. Shancy.


  • rose petal desires
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you most definately spoke to me in pain i like this here you did a greast job with the emotions in this


  • jbbrandi
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awesome! i like this one! i'm going to write a poem that's kind of sort of along these same lines, but definitely different. i don't like to copy other people! but good job!

1 - 8 of 8