you are the cancer that ate me alive
and when you left, i had no heart left to break
forcing me to lay in static-laiden sheets
alone, cold, and desperate for your touch
as you sat back and laughed
washing your hands with my warm blood
and now my veins run dry
screaming out for anything that might quench their thirst
tied me down and tore at my flesh with your rotting teeth
until all that was left were my screams of agony and my bones
having an orgasm at the look of pain and dispair on my face
you wipe your filth across my lips
the acrid taste making me wish i was no longer lucid
so that maybe i could find an escape from this
and finally
as my last breath leaves my body
i hear you say it was all because you loved me
A contest entry
- Everything! by BeautifullyBroken42.
370 points, ended January 6, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comments?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I think I now know what you were looking for- you wanted the feelings. I've read alot of uncomfortable stuff, but none so correctly written yet heart ripping. Even embarrasing. I still have my little propensity to avoid the full truth. Thanks.
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Wow, the first line caught my eye and i became attached to it! It is a brilliant poem which you ovioulsy put a lot of feeling into. Great job! It will be a finalist!
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OH My gosh! idk if you WILL be able to top this! Though you don't ahve to top it, just keep writing
Greatness! True Greatness
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thy words touch in crimson tears where echoes are found within those shadows rage in that laughter in the abyss of darkneness.
Interesting perspective here my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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"forcing me to lay in static-laden sheets" that is so amazing. I've totally been there, totally felt isolated, frozen, and reckless.
washing your hands with my warm blood, and now my veins run dry...
that is such a unique line. It truly touches me, as I feel I have no blood in my body, and no heart in my chest.
I can't feel it, I can't hear it, it's just not there.
David I have no idea why you think you can't write, you are so original, and every line speaks out to me. I actually read it out loud, and I never do that. The pauses in the poem were in the right spot, the flow is perfection and the imagery is flawless.
I am so completely dumbfounded because you leave me speechless with your words. I hope that is enough inspiration for you to keep expressing yourself. Because just know you will always have at least one fan.
"the acrid taste making me wish i was no longer lucid" is by far one of the most creative lines I have seen in a very, very long while.
Wow.
You made me vurry happy.
I will be your escape, your best friend, your life line when you need me. ♥
and even if you don't I'm still here.
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david, this is dark my man, very dark...
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this is desterbing
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ummm first off , gross, ha ! ,
interesting concept , cleverly executed ,
with excellent imagery
great job P0TE !
~ ♥ Rena ♥ ~ -
Wow, dude, that is real kewl, it sad dat u hav dem fealins kept up insida u, good 2 c dat ur lettin dem out dough,
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Wow My friend, this is truly an intense and sad piece you have penned here. You did an amazing job with this and I'm sorry that you feel like this. I hope that life gets better for you and I will keep you in my prayers friend. God bless you always and I hope you have a good Christmas.
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