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Trapped in tedium

Verspaetet
Delayed
Passengers for delayed flight 4810 to London City
Should return to the lounge
And await further announcements.

Bookshop special offers:
Three for two
on selected novels
In German
Frankfurter Algemein
Suddeutsche Zeitung
The World According to Garp
In English
I’ve read it
Twice.

3 cups of coffee
Foccaccia und ein glas Rod wein,
Bitte
Sieben Euro Zwanzig (probably spelt that wrong)
El Ruedo Tempranillo
Must be Spanish

Surrounded by Swedish transfer passengers
Drooling spaghetti
Rasputin at the next table
And the drunk guy snoring on the bench.
If this plane doesn’t show,
That’s likely to be me.
“Trink Coca Cola”
“Wodka Gorbatschow
Platinum”
Is there nothing sensible
to read
In this bloody place
Why not a brandy?

Duty free shops carry:
Seventy three varieties of perfume
Sixteen brands of Scotch whiskey
Too many types of chocolate
to sustain the interest
to count...

Purchases:
1 Box of liqueur chocolates (I’ll be late home)
200 Marlborough Light (her brother smokes)
Final call for all passengers wishing to travel to Milan / Mailand
The gate is now closing…
Will passenger Diotalevi for Milan
Please make his way to gate B24
Where the flight is closing

Look up from yesterday’s paper to find the lounge
Is suddenly empty with vacuum cleaners
Crawling across the carpets
Mobile phone bill:
Seventy seven Euros thirty five cents

Poems: Just this boring rubbish
Perhaps when I get home
I should sacrifice a chicken
to Chronos, God of Time
Missed the Boarding call!
Oh No!
Run for it…

A contest entry

Another damn delay [Reward: double points]

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Riya19
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I love how you take from around you, take the way life's the same, and show it off.

    I've been in places, where you feel as if, if you don't get out your trapped there forever... Even if forever's just a short amount of time.

  • tricia
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In the beginning, it was difficult to read but as the poem continued it was easier to understand. I suppose the first line triggers a thought that maybe this poem was written in a different language other than English. Also, the breaking of lines seems to make too many pauses in the story. It feels like a jerking stop and go, as if someone is driving with one foot on the brake and the other on the gas pedal. I do admire how you made this poem so cleverly detailed in so few words.

    Other Concerns:
    Did the character ever make it on the flight? I hope so!

  • Maldronah
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think Kronos prefers children to chicken...


  • Dorick
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahah, very nice!

    It can be overwhelming to stop and consider everything our minds suck in all at the same time, the small bits and pieces plastered to every little detail we so easily forget. You did this very well, it must've been quite tryiing to keep your attention focused on so much of...everything.

    Your poem is a great reminder how much there is to write about, even when life feels boooring.

    Lastly, after the labor of reading through the whole thing, you MIGHT miss your flight, what are you thinking!?

    Great job

  • twaintwine
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Boring Boarding

    A great observation poem of a unique location. I felt like I was there (unfortunately) my only qualm with the "oh no" line, thinking there could be something more satisfyingly constructed for the finale there? The Chronos chicken is funny, and the entire take on this is sardonic and witty. Excellent job! Care for more wit in the form of original music at www.nakedadam.net

    . Rewarded 8


  • jgrayson-au
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Short review: Don't change a word.
    Wow, perfect. I must admit I still like my poems to rhyme, so in getting me to like a poem that doesn't; and not just like but respect and find enjoyment in; is quite a skill.

    As others have stated you captured the environment of an airport perfectly. Every sentence works both on it's own, and within the poem itself. You needn't change a thing.

    . Rewarded 8


  • perpetuaI
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love how you so vividly captured the crippling boredom of airports. The mock character and cheap merchandise.
    "Surrounded by Swedish transfer passengers. Drooling spaghetti. Rasputin at the next table" priceless...
    painted the mental picture of meaningless organization airports pride themselves on. I enjoyed it immensely and congrats on the win!

  • redteacup
    March 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent. I like the casual tone that doesn't seem completely flippant. I love the images and alliteration, especially: "vacuum cleaners
    Crawling across the carpets"


    (Did you intentionally spell "spelt" incorrectly? I wasn't sure.)

    And the ending is hilarious.

    Thank you for sharing.
    • Philogos gold member
      March 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment. Actually 'spelt' turns out to be a valid alternative spelling of spelled in the UK, but you had me worried for a while there until I could check with the Oxford Dictionary.

      • redteacup
        March 19, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Oh. Well, I apoligize, then. I believe it's not like that in America. Didn't realize there was a difference for that word in particular.

  • chills
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A very deserved gold vic, and, a partridge in a pear tree seems next on the list for the duty free shop. big love my friend, xx debs xx

  • NurseChilly gold member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this one Vic and you can tell that you're a seasoned traveler.. it's the hanging around that is a killer huh?? lol

    good piece
    and many thanks for entering


  • Cat gold member
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i really like the feel of this piece- the in the moment details- [even the "i probably spelt that wrong]
    I love the list of things you can find- coupled with the purchases and the reasons you bought-

    i love the hunt for good reading material which is practically impossible- and which you seem to be resigned to failure-

    the last two lines were the only downside of this poem for me.. i'm not sure they worked with the voice of the rest of it..

    but i completely enjoyed this read.. thanks so much for sharing..
    • Philogos gold member
      December 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I absolutely agree with the comment -

      The end of a circular holding pattern comes
      not with a graceful denouement
      but with a scamper.
  • luvdrkchocolate
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol Man, what a bad time! What a great rendition of having to wait too darn long at the airport for your flight. I really don't like flying. Not being of flying in the plane itself, but because of having to wait all that time before you even get on. And you don't even have a choice because you have to get there early. You just reminded me what a horrible wait it is. So you did a good job but I don't appreciate it!


  • chills
    December 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So I guess this is the return journey?? Sacrifice that chicken. Have three hands to help you stuff it.

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