one word
in the vastness of time
explodes with the force of a bomb
inside my head
hateful, hurtful
crippling me
from my potential
one sylible
ripples outward
into a tsunami of pain
the impact breaking down shaky walls
of confidence in my soul
because the tiniest ripple
can grow to a wave
and hate and hurt and isolation
can all come from
one word
A contest entry
- Nobody Know That When They Say Something, It Really DOES Hurt by Yours-To-Have.
600 points, ended December 13, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Butterfly Effect by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended December 15, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
have you ever felt like this?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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You've expressesd the emotions beautifully- nice vocabulary and the flow is good. You've managed to keep it poetic and still get the anger across. Sometimes poems like these turn into teen angst rants-but not here. You've done an excellent job of keeping your focus and penning a good poem. I don't know if spelling bothers you or not, some people like to have it pointed out (I do) some don't, but the word "sylible" should actually be 'syllable'.
You write well beyond your years and have a real gift for imagery. I really loved the Tsunami bit.
Nicely done!
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Spelling does bother me, but I still can't spell sirius...or is it serios ...or serious?
I also loved your poem Sun Burnt Daydreams-I have it as a note on my ipod. -
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Thanks! You want to know the funny part? I had a misspelled a word in my comment- and an easy one too! All fixed though.
Thank you for the kind reply. It means so much to an old girl's heart.
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This was very good. I've had the same happen to me, and it can be one of the worst feelings in the world. You wish people would just either say things to your face, so you could at least know their jerks, or not say anything at all. It makes it hard when people you think are nice end up saying mean things behind your back. Good write, keep up the good work!
Bowie.
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A very interesting and unique take on the prompt. Thank you very much for entering.
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OMG!!! I really liked this!!! I love how you compare it to a 'ripple'!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! I really did like it! This is exactly how I feel!! OMG!!!! Thanks for entering and good luck!!
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