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Deep Fantasy

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Deep Fantasy

I know a place beneath the sea,
a pristine place for you and me.
We’ll disappear without a trace,
beneath the sea, I know a place.

Beyond the reef, like in a dream
are coral castles quite extreme.
A fantasy world beyond belief,
like in a dream, beyond the reef.

Take my hand, to a world serene,
to Neptune’s world, where I am queen.
Beyond the waves that crash on sand,
to a world serene, take my hand.

Dive below and capture my love,
far from the bright starlight above.
A place for two I want you to know,
capture my love and dive below.

When all is done and all is said,
give up your world, take me instead.
Come with me, it has just begun,
when all is said and all is done.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Swap Quatrain:
Each stanza in the poem must be a quatrain (four lines) where the first line is reversed in the fourth line. In addition, line 2 must rhyme with line 1, and line 3 must rhyme with line 4 and so on, BUT not repeat the same rhyming pattern on subsequent stanzas.
Rhyming patterns: AABB, CCDD, or ABAB, CDCD and so on.
The Swap Quatrain was created by Lorraine M. Kanter.

Art work: mermaid by: anaRasha

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • malmadre gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful poem that throbs with the pulse of the ocean. Hard to resist the invitation to dive in and follow that alluring creature. The arrangement works so well, with the repetition casting a spell. Very nice!


  • awannabepoet
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    When all is said and all is done, man will love the sea, man will love the siren and her song will be banished no more.

    For the day shall come when the sea shall be barren of live, devoid of love and as dead as can be.

    As you see there is still hope for love even beneath the sea.


  • redbarchettadrive gold member
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    Amera!
    Fantastic underwater get a way!

  • AlwaysMe1145
    September 5
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    i think you know you're good. Bravo!

  • judmc
    September 5

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    A beautiful metaphoric fantazy, mermaids are what legends are made of
    Rhymes well and flows nicely some lovely imagery quite euphoric.
    the 2nd stanza 2nd line "Are coral castles quite extreme" would "supreme"
    be the better choice ? just a thought ! the rest of the poem is beautiful
    Best Wishes and kindest regards.....George....


  • Sweet-Sins
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    wow nice rhymes.. it feels so magical a bit like the little mermaid!
    x


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    love the style of your writing,
    i really need to start trying new writing styles myself.
    this piece was outstandingly done.
    it has a perfecr flow and a tender love story being told.
    i truly enjoyed the whole piece, even the picture is very nice.
    great job.

    loveandblessings2u & yours always
    joyce

  • Climbing2nothing
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    splash splash, dream dream...

    w gili weed
    -Jas


  • evershine-90
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is great, I definitely lost myself in this piece, beautiful place and the flow is perfect! the imagery just awesome! beautiful!


  • just mercedes gold member
    September 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is a new form for me, and I like it! As usual, your poem flows like velvet, smooth and rich.


  • Jay2jay
    September 4
    Edit | Reply

    Amera

    I,ll remember the name.


  • Jay2jay
    September 4
    Edit | Reply

    Amera

    I,ll remember the name.


  • Legend silver member
    September 4
    Edit | Reply
    This is an exceptional poem And a real joy to read
    excellent

  • dogpooper
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    First line reversed in fourth line...

    Love it.You are able to keep the poem seductive and maintain the reversed verse.8 syllables a line.


  • Ithica silver member
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have penned a fantasy piece as well! Mermaids are my grandaughter's favorites... And the swap quatrain, looks deceptively simple. You have definately pulled out all the stops with this one...


  • LittleMoon silver member
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I know very little about the technical side of poetry, I only know what I like and the picture it paints in my mind and the feelings it stirs. In my opinion this is beautiful. Very well done.


  • second-born
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh I love this form..and you've done effortlessly with mastery and elegance...and I also loved the theme of your poem...very fascinating indeed!


  • Ink4Blood
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My dear friend, Amera. It has been long since we have crossed paths within this Poetic Realm of AP. I doubt you even remember me. But from the moment we went our seperate ways to the moment that our paths cross now, your elegance in poetry has not waned like the moon. But it has continued to rise like the ever shining sun.

    This poem, is so peaceful and heart warming, I feel joy within myself. The very same joy I feel when I stand outside on a rainy spring night with the rain caresseing my skin. That joy is hard to come by, but you have made me relive that wondrous feeling again whilst I read this poem. Thank you for that.

    My hat is doffed to you Amera.

    Justin
    ~May you see with eyes unclouded by hate~


  • And Hyetal
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh...my...gosh...

    Sooo beautiful. Water is always a symbol of peace and serenity for me, and I love love poetry. And you know I like fantasy. This is one of the best poems I have read. I have this bookmarked, and I want to nominate this for the front page!

    Good luck in the contest!!! (But you don't really need it. )

    Always,
    Cassie


  • Nevel
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely poem you have written.It really invitate you to go with her.I only fear there is a hidden angle.....
    Nice to see another new(for me) poem-form.Well done!


  • liquidmindforever gold member
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Poet,
    Thank you for entering my contest: THE MYSTERIES OF
    THE SEA. Would you please place the option name alongside the option.
    "Option name and number"
    Blessings of love, peace, joy
    liquid

  • SnowLion
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the quatrain for this poem. That it reverses back on itself and has a lot to do with the sea reminds me of waves rolling over and out. It's really quite a neat effect and I'm really impressed. Best wishes in the contest.


  • StarEyes
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OK I love these forms, but me and rhyme just do not get along You are soooooooo good with it, and it really shows in this one!

    I love it!!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • Desire gold member
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My!!

    Beautifully penned and what a Journey You take the reader on~~
    What a Dream so serene
    Love this!! Love the form...

    Gosh this made me smile
    Is that legal
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • k.a.s.s.i.e
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful!terriffic!beautiful!


  • PerVirtuous
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "This is the captain speaking, all hands prepare to dive."

    "DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!"

    "Pilot, what's our projected depth?"

    "All the way, sir."

    "Maintain speed and bearing until we reach our desination."

    Be there in a few minutes, Amera. Thanks for the invite. This is beautiful, magical, and almost as cute as you.


  • micol
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Smooth, bright, and lyrical...as the subject demands. Enjoyable to read and to think about. Well done.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    O so pretty.
    Love the thoughts this brings.

    Be Well


  • ellipsist
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lovely! an invitation to join YOU in the serene and peaceful and tranquil!

    how could anyone resist?




  • Gypsie Ink
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful!

    Makes me want to go swimming...Best of luck in the contest!

1 - 31 of 31