A single moment in time,
etched in my memories.
Your eyes your tears tore at me
as I saw you through the smoke tinted glass
I knew what you wanted to say.
My hand pressed firmly on the window
as your mimicked mine.
I tried so hard to hide all
the emotions threating to overwhelm.
For a single moment the time stood still.
Our eyes intertwined in a dance.
Then the engines started to roar.
A threat I knew would happen
but hoped would not come.
My feet were cemented to the ground
as they refused to move.
Then the steel beast began to pull away.
The beginning of your deployment,
etched in my memories
A single moment in time.
Author notes
This was written for my husband, who deployed November 6,2007 for a 15 month tour.
Critic please
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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yes your poem is ver emotional and gets the point across whether you read it all the way down or all the way up starting at the bottem..i know how you feel...my man leaves in june...and my unit left in june last year so i know all to well what its like to watch someone you care about get taken out of your life even for a lil while
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This is quite a sad piece, but the pleasure was all mine to come across and read it. I felt in tune with what you had to say and felt that I was able to relate somewhat to what was being said. Thanks for entering, it's a fairly well written piece.
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This is an emotionally engaging piece of art that reflects the author more lucidly than any mirror could. I enjoyed reading this; despite the intense fear and sadness, it did not leave me feeling completely hopeless. Truly touching.
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Thank you for entering my contest! this poem was so touching and i would assume personal. I think for the most part its easy to pick a poem out which has been written from real life... and this was one of those poems. Good Luck!
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I was wondering I just reread this poem and i read it from the bottom line up and it kinda fit just as good as it does top to bottom.. Maybe i am seeing things.. Will someone try it out for me.. Hehe
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beautiful.
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This was a good read. Very emotional. The words just rolled off the page. The thing I like most about this "love" poem is that it doesn't read like a love poem.
I really liked the lines,
"For a single moment the time stood still.
Our eyes intertwined in a dance."
Well done.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.
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This was a good read. Very emotional. The words just rolled off the page. The thing I like most about this "love" poem is that it doesn't read like a love poem.
I really liked the lines,
"For a single moment the time stood still.
Our eyes intertwined in a dance."
Well done.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.
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