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Ride The White Light



Ride the white light...the devil may care
Inside you scream...but it gets you nowhere
Devil and the angels...laugh to themselves
Engulfing your dreams...inside your own hell

The angels come calling...whiter than snow
How tempted you are...to escape from the show
Eager and willing...but a slave just the same

White lights come flashing...the tease of the chase
Hell calls you back...to this devilish place
Inside this domain...there's no escaping the fact

That you're here for eternity...and that is that
Escape you can never...your soul is all mine

Lucifer, Beelzebub, Satan's my name...and you shall burn
Inside my flames...and feel the power of my pain
God doesn't want you...your crimes on his earth
Have sent you to hell...where you are now cursed
The trip of a lifetime...the worst of the worst

 

 

Author notes

2. Write something that rhymes well. And it has to be dark!

ACROSTIC

option 2

"I KNOW THE RULES"

In a list

A contest entry

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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 66 of 66

  • Luciferschild
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    i think that maybe better word choice would complete this poem, i felt that was the only problem. thank you for entering and good luck


  • xtayzerx
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    FANTASTIC!!!!!!!
    i love it its amazing!!!! perfect write it captures ur view extremly well......u rock keep writing dude u rule!!! xxsilentsuicidexx


  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was a smooth right dark all that good stuff good luck to you on the contest ok


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so smartly written...pulling at us..taunting us...
    boldly letting go...and letting your ink flow!
    well done!
    cautious warning wisely done through out this poem!
    Powerful ink in your soul!
    ears/Seattle
    thankyou for your entry into hell.


  • fairytalelovestory
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ty and gl


  • georgie
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a fantastic piece...All the luck in the contest altho im sure u wont need it. a brilliant write.
    xxx


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Hello there I am a judge for the contest Project Un-Cliche and anyways this is a mighty fine powerful dark poem here and I am absolutely blown away by the whole concept of this poem. anyw ays I really found myself in awe at this poem and how incredibly powerful this write is. anyw ays excellent insight and congratulations on winning numerous trophies for your wirte here. any ways great work and good luck in the contest(s).


  • Nostalgic Moon
    August 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    woah this is wonderful! i expecially love the last line =) great write


  • hey charlie
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely written. I'm not a fan of rhyme but I did enjoy this since it actually told a story rather than being a bunch of pretty words slapped on a page. Thanks for entering.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The first stanza speaks the most to me... It's the way I've often felt when contimplating how others and ultimately hell and heaven see me. They do mock me, I really do believe so whenever I'm happy, they tear it from me, whenever I'm sad they laugh. But that's me, the pesimist.


    • Timespell
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LOL, I can say that would piss me off too, if that was the case.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • herrlurch
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Once again, well done!

    especially since I did not get the acrostic idea myself. Good idea, good transfer. Some typos with to and too, however (l. 6, 9). Fine.


    • Timespell
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Like I have mentioned in the past, you will find my typos here and there from time to time. Thanks for bringing them to my attention.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Nikki Rowles
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is the first acrostic that I have ever liked....well then...that right there gets kudos....


    • Timespell
      March 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem. Glad you found my Acrostic to your liking.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • DestiniesTwined
    March 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this. Thanks for entering my contest, and I wish you much luck.


    • Timespell
      March 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem. Glad you like it.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • BlankSillhouette
    March 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering this into the contest. The topic was very interesting and the flow throughout the piece was far above what i expected. The rhyme wasn't forced in this, and the feeling of it was amazing. The regret and ending was arguably open-ended and trajic, but absolutely necessary! This was an amazing piece and good luck in the contest. Best wishes.

    xBlankSillhouetteX


    • Timespell
      March 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem. I would say this is one of my personal favorites. So I am glad you liked this one.

      All the be

      ~T.S~

  • know one
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    ARSOME!

    great exacly what I was after


    • Timespell
      February 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading. Glad this what you was after for your contest.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Count Orlok
    February 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Why not choose an original title?


    • Timespell
      February 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I suppose I could of called this "Ride the white light"

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • SchizoChic
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    I really enjoyed reading this. I like it alot. I can see the imagery in my head as the words flow so freely. I am impressed. Very good job. Good luck in the contest.


    • Timespell
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks...

      Yes a nice look into the depths of HELL...

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • chromedevil
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thankyou for entering our contest best of luck to you

    • Timespell
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this 'Dark Piece'

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • askmyname0
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a very insightful poem showing much to encounter ,makes the goodie look a little bad for turning his back on some .


    • Timespell
      January 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading this one, Yes not a nice place to end up in, is it...LOL

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • parntsoftwins
    January 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this one, the description of the torments of hell. Well written.

    Inside my flames...and feel the power of my pain
    God doesn't want you...your crimes on his earth
    Have sent you to hell...where you are now cursed
    The trip of a lifetime...the worst of the worst

    This is a great powerful last stanza. I have always felt the last stanza should have the most impact. You have done that well!

    • Timespell
      January 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading this one glad you liked it

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi is this in relation to the novel? If so would you consider entering my novel contest, you write such wonderful work I'd love you to enter x


    • Timespell
      January 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and for the invite.

      I will have a look and see if I can come up with something for you.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • opaqueangel
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awsome writte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You did a great job loved every bit of it...Thanks for the entery and good luck!

    • Timespell
      December 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks...

      Glad you liked this walk on the Darker side.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • georgie
    December 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    as your usual style... the things i love to read. a well deserved silver although personally id give it gold,
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx


    • Timespell
      December 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks Georgie,

      This had a hidden message to go along with the poem... Don't think anybody saw it. Or even pointed it out.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • darkangel-darksoul
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is so amazing.. i love it. thanks for your entry


    • Timespell
      December 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting. I am so glad you thought my poem was "Amazing"

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • LadyDementia gold member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A great poem, rich in darkness, tho a little short you have packed a lot of fab imagery into it. The rhyme is wonderful, just rolls effortlessly of the tongue. You have brought it to a close superbly. Best of luck in my contest.
    Pink x
    *hug


    • Timespell
      December 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading and leaving a great comment.
      To be totally honest with you, after starting this poem with the first sentence Ride The White Light. I liked that line so much that I formed, and based the rest of the poem on that sentence in an acrostic form. I guess thats why I had to end it the way I did.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Shamanicmusings
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Woah this has wonderful rhyme and metre to start with and the imagery is stunning to boot A well crafted poem by a competant writer. Well done. This is going into my favourites hoard.


    • Timespell
      December 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the great comment and for adding this one to your favorites.

      Thanks again.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • ForeverxAlone
    December 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Woah.. like.. utterly amazing, leaving me amazed and in awe and ;lsajdf;ljasdf heh this is just too great ^_^
    Keeep writing, for the enjoyment of all
    The words were amazing and.. yeah.
    Have a nice day!! ^_^

    • Timespell
      December 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot for reading and for your great comment...

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • ShadowsMidnightRose
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I am utterly speechless!! The words you chose are perfect, and the format is something that i've never seen. I love this stanza:
    White lights come flashing...the tease of the chase
    Hell calls you back...too this devilish place
    Inside this domain...there's no escaping the fact

    That you're here for eternity...and that is that
    Escape you can never...your soul is all mine
    I love this poem, please keep on writing!


    • Timespell
      December 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and leaving a great comment...I am glad you liked this style of poetry.

      Thanks again

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • PsychoticallyInsane
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem!! The words play and roll off the tongue! Very well written and the message is so vivid and true! Rock on dude!

    • Timespell
      December 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the great Comment on this poem...

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • beryl
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your words are too true..
    Well done to capture what we all at times do feel;
    But the fight is worth the pain.

    • Timespell
      December 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading this short story

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • piccola silver member
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love the rhyme and flow. Plus it was filled with great images. Thank you so much for this entry

    • Timespell
      December 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • CCSUNSHINE x
    December 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am actually reading this book in school at the moment.

    I love this poem,
    I love how you used the different names for satan.





    • Timespell
      December 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting...Hope you enjoyed this short look at Hell.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • WhyNot
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job. I like this poem...kind of creepy. I like the title as well!


    • Timespell
      December 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      The Title is actually another name for the Devil. He has many names and many faces...

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Dolphinettas
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Very visual

    Wow what a poem I'm glad I don't believe in hell Very good


    • Timespell
      December 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hell is place that was born in Mankind's mind...It is only Mankind that can make it reality... Scary but true.

      Thanks for ready and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • hunted33
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I don't mean to be negative or put you down but I really do not like this poem. I don't believe in its message. Satan will burn in hell just like those who follow him. Hell is the punishment of those who do not heed God's word in their lifetimes.


    • Timespell
      December 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Yes...

      Don't worry that is exactly what I wanted from this piece...I don't want anyone to like such a Nasty vision and place. If you re-read the last stanza, you will see in line three onwards regarding God and why.!!
      Hope this helps.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • Lady Dragonwyck
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW!! Very well done. A well told journey. Good luck in the contest.

    Lady D


    • Timespell
      December 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for awarding this poem with the Silver Trophy...really appreciated it.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


    • Timespell
      December 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks Lady D, I have been doing a lot of dark writes lately, and came up with this one for this contest... Even managed an Acrostic with it...LOL

      Thanks for reading and commenting on this dark one!

      All the best,

      T.S


  • lesbian-in-love
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That was wonderfully. Thanks so much for entering a very fine piece of work and good luck to you in the contest.

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