You come to me
lonely and cold
a purring kitten seeking warmth
with your tail up and a fever
for affection, wanting kisses
and when our lips touch
you pounce
like a hungry panther
pinning me with lust,
wrapping me in smoke
from your burning river,
your kiss a hit
from the opium pipe,
and I lie helpless
as you drag me deeper
into the night.
Author notes
a response poem to a.g.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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What a throbbing work of words, filled with intensity and yes...lust. I love how she came to you. I am the aggressor, more often than not, and hubby loves that. He kinda sits back and waits for my approach. Then, of course, he takes over. LOL Great! Loved the sulty sense of good lovin' written here.
Always ♥
Renee
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This is a wonderfully intoxicating poem.
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Very lustful and steamy...
provocative...love the build up to pouncing.
Nice short write...very solid.
Becky
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thanks for reading and commenting!
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why did you delete everything else... i missed a new one the other day.
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I haven't deleted any of them. I just "unpinned" throb from my author page when I posted the new outlaw poem. everything is still there...I hope!
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Solid
I'm going to have to agree with one of the previous comments. I feel like the work is well constructed, however, the last 3 lines seem to detract from the overall poem. It's probably just me but I dislike the usage of "throb" but WTF do I know.
I like the way you ramped it up and the downward spiral. Long time since I read or commented on anything poetic. I apologize for being a bit rusty on my comment.
That said .. I hope you are doing well Travis!
Later,
Brian
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thanks, brian. I haven't been on AP since you left this comment. I agree with you and rudy. I deleted the last 3 lines. thanks for your input.
how are doing? are you still in dallas?
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For me, travis, the poem ends with: as you drag me deeper/into the night...
The final lines seem neccessary if the title does not convey the wild ways of this creature of night & lust...
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thanks, rudy. I think you're right. I've deleted the last 3 lines. I appreciate the help!
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Amy perhaps? I was reminded by the opium pipe. Good as ever, but i still am looking for a new sense of ingenuity. Perhaps you've taught me to expect too much.
Lizbian -
I know that NONE NONE NONE ...
can prolong a sentence and a throb the way you do, Travis! Wow. You have me blushing here.
I hope you have a wondrous time of our Ever-Child, Poet.
Blessings.
Myra
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this poem is the burning sensation i would get in my chest when we were cool with sweat and hot from head to tie..and his own sweat would drip into my eyes, making them tear up..so all i could see was skin..so all i could see was blue as well..
beautiful, travis, really beautiful.
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pulsating hun.... yepp
this has that lustfulness that only an aching heart can provide
Nicely done Travis.....
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