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Tin Soldiers

Tin soldiers marching one by one,

Across gravel and dust.

Tears rusting their golden hearts.

Mothers and daughters praying for their noble cause.

The tinned men look to the sky,

Remembering that loved ones are too held under that sky.

 


 

Author notes

option 4 about soldiers.

I'm sorry its kinda short but I like it.

A contest entry

Well I think it's bad, what do you think?

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Comments


  • Haiku-bless-you gold member
    November 13, 2008

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    HOODWINKED !!!

    Great imagery and thoughts to ponder in this brief but poignant poem. Very well done!

    You have been Hoodwinked by the poetic bandits today because WE CARE!

    Dennis


  • ShadowSoul
    December 22, 2007

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    I like it, short and emotional, except the last line, too similar to the previous line, (which some people like), but u could change it alil, like 'knowing there loved ones are watching over them', or, 'they know it will be the last time they see it', but im not a professional, merely a lil suggestion well done


  • Maybe.I.Am.Broken.
    December 12, 2007

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    Even though it is short, which i normally don't like, it shows a lot of emotion. I really do like this piece, best of luck.

    Thanks for entering,
    Annie Shadows