I lay like a buffoon,
face down in a scuba mask,
in the tall grass of my yard,
and watched the tiny life
that inhabits its jungles.
Unseen by the giants
of flesh that we are,
there exists a
miasma of beauty
and ferocity below
the sight line.
Ants bearing
trophies of bug flesh,
worms peeping
out for a breath
of soil tainted air,
beetles beat
feet at my reflection,
gnats looking natty in
their opalescent wings.
So many vast wonders in the
small glass of a face mask,
till my neighbor Mr. Sharp
asked me if I was hurt
and perhaps needed help...
What shock and awe he felt
when I rolled over
fully equipped to snorkel
in his bathtub!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Artis
A contest entry
- For the love of god CONFUSE ME by h202.
450 points, ended February 10, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i can't really pinpoint why, but the ending really, really reminds me of sex. that is fucking insane, because when i read the ending i was like whoa whoa whoa wait, and i went back to read the rest of it thinking i might have missed something, but i don't think i did. maybe i'm just a creep. but jeez that ending stanza really evokes sexual thoughts for me, though the rest of it does not. you know i really like this as a whole. i would like it even if it didn't throw me for a complete loop at the end. "soil tainted air" is excellent. thanks for entering this, greatly enjoyed reading it.
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ha ha ha really funny and great imagery, I really enjoyed this piece, well done my friend
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I love this! I have so felt this way before when laying in the grass. You have inspired me.
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LOL. This was very clever and cute and yet very intriguing. It was child-like in its approach and conclusion but adult in its observations. This would actually make a good story line for one of those children's science books.
Well done.
John -
i love the line "there exists a
miasma of beauty"
that is genious! i really like this poem, its light and well, i would say 'fresh' is a good word to describe what i feel when reading it. great poem! -
Loved it! Definitely brings out a smile.
Thanks for sharing,
Herman
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Work on your grammar. Lines 1,10, and 13 all contain mistakes. Besides that, interesting work. I thought the concepts behind this poem were fantastic, and that with some structure, it could be excellent.
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lol... up periscope. i wouldnt mind being mr sharp lol. as always i love this one,
hugs,
feral,
xxx
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