Nibblin' on a Big Mac
Right out of the sack,
All of those french-fries covered in oil.
Gulpin' my milkshake, because I needed a break
Smell those burgers---
They're all wrapped in foil.
Eatin’ away in my old Coupe DeVille
Searchin' for my last chocolate malt.
Some people say that the "fast food" is to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.
Don't know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothin’ to wear cause my pants I outgrew.
I am a real beauty, just an overweight cutie,
How I got here
I haven't a clue.
Eatin’ away in my old Coupe DeVille
Searchin' for my last chocolate malt.
Some people say that the "fast food" is to blame,
Now I think, -- hell it could be my fault.
Had a “Mac Attack,”
Gulped down a Big Mac.
Feelin’ real good, just a'cruisin' back home.
I'll get out the blender. Don't want to be slender.
That frozen milk shake
It helps me hang on.
Eatin’ away in my old Coupe DeVille
Searchin' for my last chocolate malt.
Some people say that the "fast food" is to blame
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people say that the "fast food" is
to blame,
And I know it's my own damn fault.
Author notes
LIONHEART
These are the actual lyrics to"Margaritaville" written by Jimmy Buffet, for comparison.
--Margaritaville--
Nibblin' on sponge cake,
watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp--
They're beginnin' to boil.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.
Don't know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.
But it's a real beauty, a Mexican cutie,
How it got here
I haven't a clue.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think,-- hell it could be my fault.
I blew out my flip flop,
Stepped on a pop top;
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction
that helps me hang on.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman
to blame,
And I know it's my own damn fault.
A contest entry
- Make me Laugh... by aboomer.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me A Reason by spiritraven.
700 points, ended May 19, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything! JUST ENTER!!!! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
400 points, ended October 16, 360 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just make it amazing! by X.brokenlover.X.
977 points, ended November 18, 306 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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How is this funny? Cuz your rhyming about Mcdonalds? It didn't do it for me. There's no actual joke or anything. Big Macs aren't funny, being fat from eating so many also isn't funny, the rhyming was okay but after reading the "Margaritaville" poem I think I was even less impressed with this. It really isn't original, at all. Anyway, I still found it sort of amusing.
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I am sorry that you do not think my entry is funny but jusy "sort of amusing".
I suppose that most of the people that commented on the poem are wrong to laugh at the poem and of course, you are right.
You didn't need to make such a negative comment. Just quietly remove the poem from your contest. No wait.I will remove it.
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LOL! This was good. My wife and I got a kick outta this.McDonalds is awsome... Just dont go there all the time. LMAO! Anyways! This was good. I enjoyed it. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest
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LOVED IT!
It made me laugh like crazy, which I haven't done in a while so I thank you, poet. This was awesome! IT made me smile. keep up the good work! thanks for entering our contest and good luck!
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This was unexpected, in a good way. Very different from the other poems in this contest and it did make me smile.
I think what you've done is very clever, I especially like 'I am a real beauty, just an overweight cutie'
Thanks for entering -
This made me fall out of my chair...LAUGHING!
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Thank you again
for entering my contest. It was very hard to pick the winners. In every entry there was so much potential. Thank you and best of luck in your next contest -
Just what I needed
I love it!! Very smooth work and I shared it with my roommates. They laughed as hard as I did. Thank you so much. Good luck in the contest!
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I don't understand, if you loved my entry so much, why did you remove it from the contest?
Please enlighten me.
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hahaha this is awesome lol, funny. nice job and good luck
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I thank you
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this a great piece, it's well written, it flows and rhymes well, got to admit i'm not a fan of parody though haha
and it didn't make me laugh
but it was an excellent poem,
very well done and good luck
xxx
=] -
Nicely done! I like that song!
You did real well in the rhyme/rhythm in this - it reads smoothly and one can hum along.
thank you for your entry
best wishes in the contest
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This was a good entry, and you did a great job of comparison, but I'm just not really feelin' the vibe. . .
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haha you're a regular weird al!
Title-9 great twist on you're song!
Flow-9 there were a few choppy places but it was a perfect match to the original song!
Rules-10 good job with the rules!
Creativity-9.5 haha this was definitely creative!
Song-9.5 like i said the structure of this poem really matched the structure of the song! good job!
Total-47
Great job! -
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Thank you
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wow. dead on with the sysabbles and everything. good luck in the contest. this was a funny read. it reminded me of what i read in the headline about WV. great work, it flowed very well.
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Glad you liked this. Thanks
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Oh this is brilliant. I can see a few people who might have connections to this. You followed the lyrics seamlessly.
Best of luck in the contest. -
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Thanks
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Magnificent!!
Now this is Brilliant
Love this one that You have penned and I can hear the tune in the my head
I stopped eating meat but I say You can certainly convince one to sample a Big Mac and chocolate shake
Wooooo Hoooooo
Wowzers!!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Jimmy Buffet would be proud of you! Very original and it made me laugh!! THANKS for writing this clever work!!
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Lol... what a good paraday of one of my favorites, Richard
Everything works tight in and I'd prefer Burger King over a Big Mac, I thoroughly enjoyed this tongue in cheek piece.
I'm sending you an IM about the use of the Margararitaville lyrics, though. Please be sure to read it.
Love and
Dee
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Ronald is just another enabler you know! And that Hamburgler. Don't even get me started,plaese....! Mac attacks are addictive,me too. What a delightful parody. This one has a vague flavor.Must be the chocolate malt. Um..?!!!
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1 - 24 of 24
