We were close friends,
Though she did not know
The sleepless nights
With her on my mind or
The breathless moments
In my dreams of her
As I would see her face.
When she walked into a room,
My life was brightened
As though someone opened
The curtains and let the sun
Shine on my soul to show
That she was the beginning
And she was the end.
I would imagine
Her feelings were the same,
But maybe she couldn’t say.
This gave me a small glimmer
Of hope and courage
To talk with her and
Tell her how I feel.
I held my heart for her to take.
Heavily burdened with years
Of love that would not die,
It fell to the ground,
Broken and unwanted,
To be swept away
Like grains of sand.
The glimmer of hope is now gone.
Darkness surrounds me
Like a blanket-- and
In my dreams of her,
I no longer see her face
For the tears that are running
Through my mind.
I will try to pick up the pieces--
Put my heart back together
So I can get through this--
But the pieces don’t seem to fit.
I must patch this battered heart
The best I can, so one day we again
Can be close friends.
One day soon she will find
Someone who makes her feel
The way I do for her--
Then on her wedding day,
As close friends always do,
I’ll wish them a happy and wonderful life,
Then slowly walk away.
Author notes
option 1
SN l i o n h e a r t "Don't die live life"
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5046751 new poem
option3
"I solemnly swear to let this go" LIONHEART options,options,options contest -OPTION 2
prompt = unrequited
Contest (They are really gone)option 1
option 2 what you would do if a clown came up to your bed with a dagger and something your allergic to. And he threatened to kill you if you didnt eat it. I would eat it---duh
A contest entry
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Honorable mention
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Gold trophy winner
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Bronze trophy winner
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490 points, ended January 30, 90 entries
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Comments
1 - 91 of 91
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I will try to pick up the pieces--
Put my heart back together
So I can get through this--
But the pieces don’t seem to fit.
I must patch this battered heart
The best I can, so one day we again
Can be close friends.
One day soon she will find
Someone who makes her feel
The way I do for her--
Then on her wedding day,
As close friends always do,
I’ll wish them a happy and wonderful life,
Then slowly walk away.
awwww very sad this is the best part to my opinion I know hw u feel i've been there too bt wit a boy lol... so thanks for sharing with and thanks for entering and good lucky
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I will try to pick up the pieces--
Put my heart back together
So I can get through this--
But the pieces don’t seem to fit.
Aw, sweet. A little cliche, but sweet. -
This is a really great poem. Well thought out and very vivid in the way, you bring it to life. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi -
This was moving. I found this rather interesting. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for entering and best of luck too you in the contest. Keep up the awsome work!
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One day soon she will find
Someone who makes her feel
The way I do for her--
Then on her wedding day,
As close friends always do,
I’ll wish them a happy and wonderful life,
Then slowly walk away.One day I shall have to do the same. There is no greater love than unselfish love. This is a first for me. I'm used to going for what I want no matter the consequences. This hurts I know. It's harder trying not to love someone than it is to just love them silently. This is a great peice. It was hard to just give you HM.
Thank you for entering and good luck.
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This was an amazing piece of poetry! The end of this was so powerful and... all around perfect! I enjoyed this piece of writing ever so much! Thank you for entering my contest!
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wow no wonder youve won so many trophies!!
its an excellent piece! i loved how you ended it its so heartbreaking to watch someone you love walk away..
thnks for the entry and good luck! -
Wow. The ending particularly struck me.
It's like your giving up, and you just watch her walk away into the arms of someone else.
I love this. It is true heartbreak.
Goooood Luck.
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I can feel the heartbreak.
thanks for entering,
good luck. -
Very nicely written a lot of good thought here. Very deep indeed. Thank you for sharing this write it was well done.
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This so much reminds me of what I'm going through right now with my best friend. Great emotion, I really liked it.
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This poem discribes a lot of intense emotional pain and heartbreak. It was really good.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest. ♥ -
This poem was beautiful and strikingly full of imagery. It was superb. Unfortunatley while entering it into a myraid of contests, you failed to read the rules for mine and thus will not be winning. Its a shame, really, I like this poem.
Thanks for entering. -
Very Creative... Amazing write
good luck.
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i assume my comment is here somewhere, as i have it in the finalists ;
what a wonderful ode of love, and acceptance - and one that is so hard to come to terms with.
i'm struggling here to judge because i have so many fantastic poems in the finalists list, but only eight places - it's hard
thanks for entering.
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This is a beautiful little piece, it made my heart all warm to read the ending that you would still wish them well. Best to you in the contest
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This was beautiful. Thank you for your entry and good luck in my contest
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This is lovely in a depressing way...
Its too bad they dont know...
Thank You for entering -
Amazingly Done!
I truly love this piece. I feel your pain in every word and I feel the love you have for this person. Although I am young I have felt this feeling too. But I am now with the love of my life and I hope that you will find the person for you if you have not yet done so. Very nice job and good luck! -
this has won many awards and really has deserved all of them. wow you just tell this story breathtakingly and really show emotion at its raw points.
thanks for entering -
Wow. I can really relate to this. Thank you. I loved it. ~Hollis.
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beatiful
the picture and purity of ur words r great. i love it. the way u express, u can really tell how you feel. its amazing and i want to read some more of yours. good luck
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Very well written! Break a leg!
Rae
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Aww very beautiful & touching.
Many sentiments expressed so wonderfully.
Best of luck & thanks for entering -
I really felt the depth in this.
I too have had something similar,
It hurts when someone does not love you back,
Yet you wait and hope, untill it drains you.
Then getting back up is the hard part...
Thankyou for your beautifully written poem in
LoveNeverDies..
Goodluck (; -
Beautiful ..
and so sad, but it is great that you can move on and understand you were not meant to be...great images as well! I love the part:
I will try to pick up the pieces--
Put my heart back together
So I can get through this--
But the pieces don’t seem to fit.
I must patch this battered heart
The best I can, so one day we again
Can be close friends.
Love hurts especially when it is not returned and you penned that beautifully! Thanks for entering and good luck
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wow that is different...sad and I can sense the loss of this friend in your words...I hope your heart mends xx
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OH God.....
Thast's hard, and I have to say I know the feeling... Loving someone who cannot offer you the retournée...
Watching whilst they share a smile with someone else that they should be sharingt with you. Knowing full well that no matter how they feel about that someone else, they will never be loved by another as much as you can love them...
Knowing you'll spend the rest of your days clinging on to a hope... yet never being able to say anything because you already know the answer.
I wish you courage to do what you have to do...the same as I should -
When she walked into a room,
My life was brightened
As though someone opened
The curtains and let the sun
Shine on my soul to show
I held my heart for her to take.
Heavily burdened with years
Of love that would not die,
It fell to the ground,
Broken and unwanted,
To be swept away
Like grains of sand. .. i really loved the imagery in this two paras
i really like this poem. thanks for entering and best of luck -
10 to 50 lines... too long... sorry.
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Thank you for your heartfelt piece, Josie
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sorry..... too many lines. only 10-50 lines for my contest :[
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I love the spin you put on this! Too often, love will not die for the one we adore, even when they don't feel the same for us.
If this is based on something you are/were going through, I am sorry. The only thing I can say is to keep your head high & look on the bright side.
Thanks for entering & good luck!
~Bright Cheetah
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Lovely
A very nice poem on what is much too common and sad in our lives. Good job.
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this is good! I like the part where you wrote "love that would not die." Good luck in the contest, and thanks for entering!
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wow i can really relate to this! i hope you become best friends again!
thanks for entering my contest and good luck! -
It's a beautiful poem, very well worded. Thanks for entering.
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wow. ouch. i hope this isnt personal. and i know how it feels... me and my husband were really really good friends before we decided to date, now we barely talk =[ thanks for entering and good luck.
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I thank you
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I really love this poem, it's so true. I have felt like this before, especially how that special person can just walk into a room and brighten your mood.
Amazing write.
Thanks for entering my contest! -
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Thank you very much
for your kind words
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no
There really wasn't much poetic device or emotion used in this piece. Show, don't tell. While the idea and theme of it was good [I do enjoy "lost love" poetry], the execution was not quite up to par.
But - please do not remove this from the contest yet. The other judge still needs to comment, if you receive a yes, your piece will be up for discussion. Be patient.
♣ Tegan -
Not
Not on a plain background. Sorry. -
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By the way, There were other poems with stripes on either side of the poem in your contest. No different than mine
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Did you even read the poem? You know what? Don't bother, I'll remove the poem.
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Remove if you must
I just read the poem again, and it's actually growing on me a bit. Remove it if you want, but you just never know.
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you are facing a hard life if you cannot let this go. i hope it turns out well for you.
i've had this happen to me. i know the feeling. The comfort i have always had is that i know i can still love them just without the special strings attached. the one i fell in love with knows how i feel and we both let that be a reason for us to be friends. We let it channel our friendship into something worth while. Love has many forms. Its just which one you choose to share.
Best of luck with this. this will be the hardest thing you will ever have to just let go of and push aside.
<3 the Queen
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this is so sad. but i loved it. very heartfelt and beautiful.
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I liked how there was a rainbow image attached for the background of this. It made it ironic to me, how sad this was. I kept looking at the rainbow. I did like this poem though. It was well written and screamed 'lonely'. Great job and good luck in my contest!
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Persistant to win a place in my contest arent you?
This one is lovely, not to the other standard of the others you have entered but thank you for entering, again.
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Thank you for your heartfelt entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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this is so sad, but beautiful at the same time. i really like it. the ending was like a punch to the face.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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I'm crying.
This was truly truly, ugh i dont know i cant really see through the tears. Wow just wow. The funny thing is i felt absolutely no emotion at all until this stanza
One day soon she will find
Someone who makes her feel
The way I do for her--
Then on her wedding day,
As close friends always do,
I’ll wish them a happy and wonderful life,
Then slowly walk away.
Best ending to an unhappy ending i would think.
Thank you so much for entering.
Best of luck.
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it was beautiful and lets a women/ girl know that guys can have sensative sides too!!
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I'm in class and I'm now crying thank you!
wow this is really sad but its full of emotion.... and it fits the prompt fully! i can really relate to this.... thats the really crappy part.....but i guess sometimes friends will just have to work... but i got lucky he told me how he felt "When she walked into a room,
My life was brightened
As though someone opened
The curtains and let the sun
Shine on my soul to show
That she was the beginning
And she was the end."
"One day soon she will find
Someone who makes her feel
The way I do for her--
Then on her wedding day,
As close friends always do,
I’ll wish them a happy and wonderful life,
Then slowly walk away."
those are my two fav. stanzas! this is an amazing piece and extreamly powerful....if this doesnt pull at the strings of someones heart them idk what does!!
thank you for this lovely entry and good luck,
~*Princess Cuddle Bug*~
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Lovely....
Thank you for entering my contest!!
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ohmigosh....
holy crap that is so sad, i totally loved it. very real, very powerful, so.... deep and... i dunno... vital. I've been in this situation, gah, not a happy place to be... and the last part is my favorite part. 'slowly walk away', oh my gosh does that just pack a punch! great write, totall adored it, thank u for entering! good luck!
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Thank you
I am pleased that you liked my poem so much
Richard
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This is very touching. I think you did your prompt justice. Thanks for entering.
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People never seem to see what's directly infront of them, until it's no longer there or no longer matters.
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This is really sad. I really like it though. The ending is really beautiful and sad.. I love it.. Great write, thanks for entering and good luck.
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aww this is amazing!
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Thank you for your beautiful yet bittersweet piece, and I can relate to this very well,Josie
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good job and good luck
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thats sounds so painful. good work
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Aww this is lovely=] Thank you so much for your entry=]
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Thanks
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I like the picture of the curtains being opened and the sun shining in although I know it is a metaphor it is lovely. thank you for entering
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Thank you for this entry.
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wow. this is a great piece..i wrote something similar a while ago "a secret you'll never" know..but i guess this feels like the updated version.. so thanks for sharing
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Thanks Abner for your kind words
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Oh my gosh! This was amazing! Very sad, lovely. There's a special guy in my life, and we were in the same situation, except when I told him, he told me he hadn't thought of me that way. Anyway, we ended up dating for a month, a week, four days, 8 hours, and 11 minutes. He ended up already having a girl and not telling me about it. They long since broke up, due to her moving, and I wish I could tell him again how much he means to me. But you're right. Friends will do. Thanks for capturing all the emotions I never could! Keep writing!
Lillie
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Thank you
I am so glad you liked this poem so much
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Crying!
Well, that was absolutly amazing. All hope should never be lost because theres always somone what can heal a broken heart. Absolutly breathtaking. Good luck in the contest. -
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Glad I made you cry. That is the reaction I wanted with this poem. Thanks
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I love the ending. That, I think, is the most powerful part, especially the last line. It brings up the fear I'd have if I ever liked anyone I was friends with. I'd be too afraid to tell them because knowing my luck, I'd get my heart broken AND they'd leave me. In any case, good luck. Thanks for entering.
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Thank you, cavca
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such a lovely piece.... it made me feel really warm to think about, actually about a couple of friends. i know who likes who, last i checked, the opposite even liked them back, but they can't seem to say it to each other. they've both come to talk to me about the other and i don't know what to do....
besides me little stories, however, i really liked this write. your stanzas each had their own little fragments of creativity, and it was just wonderfully put together...
a sweet write
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I thank you Demmy
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anytime
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Woah
tears are coming to my eyes, i love it. it reminds so much of someone. thank you for the wonderful write.
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Thanks woah,
I am happy you liked my poem
Richard
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Beautiful write. There are few things more beautifully tragic than lost love. The choice of vocabulary is great. This piece is truly touching. Thank you
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wow
Great piece; it has such an emotional level to it, the power was great. You made the piece make sense, while not forcing the issue, or going on too much of a rant. The punctuation improved toward the end, but my only critical comment would be to continue to work on it.
Bravo!
-gh -
OMG.....I totally loved it. It was so sad and sweet and full of emotion. It reached me and made me want to cry
but you did a beautiful job. Again great job and keep writing.
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This is really very touching piece here revealing the truth of the life and making us to know what is the truth of love as well..so beautifuly narrated story of the heart..well done....
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Oh My Word ...
Powerful piece that gets the Heart tearing up also the emotions to stream down the cheeks
Wish You only Happiness my Friend!!
I will say it is Wonderful to see You back here and writing~~
Your Strength inspire me to smile
Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Richard
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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What a touching work of poetry here Richard. Very moving and just jumps out at you. I appreciate the work you put into this. Thanks again.
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I'm betting she did! And if not,it's her loss for certain.I too have tried a patch job on shattered pieces.And figured out. It becomes the new and wise version enriched for having known the feeling.Too sad so many go through life and never can feel love as deeply,is it not? This is a honest expression you composed quite well in verse.You've diffinitly been missed my friend.Hello!
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Oh, Richard, this is such a heartbreaker. You've written with eloquence, feeling and love of this ill fated one sided romance.
"I would imagine
Her feelings were the same,
But maybe she couldn’t say."
These words are often true but more often are just wishful thinking, hoping to have the feelings returned.
An excellent poem, my friend, written from the heart, I know.
It's great to see you posting again, I'm looking for more
Love ya
Dee
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Thank you Dee. It is great to be back. I have missed you, my friend. Love ya back
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