They talk about cool gentle places
And soft places to fall
What do I know about that?
I know only of hot hard places
And places where the bony elbows
Of humanity
Meet the sharp edges of life
I have never seen snow
But I have seen the heat waves
Shimmering along the horizon line
In hot dry lands
I have heard the call of the Warrigal
And stalked with the Feather Foot
I have seen the pointed bone
And sung the songs of brolga and emu
Now as the shadow lands draw me back
To my last camp fire
I remember
In a list
A contest entry
- poetrandy Remembers! I want some memories of your bygone days! by poetrandy.
1000 points, ended October 10, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 72 of 72
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Interesting!
Very Different! Good work -- good luck in the contest!
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"... places where the bony elbows
Of humanity
Meet the sharp edges of life" - stabbing, real.
this piece is infused equally with vivid imagery and emotion.
metaphorically - sometimes i think the "remembering" and ruminating over the steps of one's journey can be even harder to endure than the terrain itself. Godspeed.
great write. i loved the glimpse of australia. - NANGALEEMA
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Wow! this is the Dingo's bollocks of a poem, Superbly structured, it tells a great narrative 1st person story succinctly & well. It makes me feel like I have heard the Emus singing. Excellent.
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Outstanding use of metaphor...
WOW - How creative can you get, with lines like - "Sharp edges of life" !!
I would really enjoy experiencing all these memories first hand - what I know of the land of Oz is from what my friends share with me in their poetry here, and sometimes I may receive a letter from someone over there, telling about the water shortage. I would love to travel there one day to personally see all the wonderful history... at any rate, this is an excellent example of one humanitarian's thoughts and feelings about life. Thank you for sharing your gentleman's wisdom with all of us!!! Peace, Cyn 
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h'ray
What would the world be like without Australia and Aussies?
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this has a wonderfully pensive quality to it...makes me think how largely we are shaped by the world around us. Excellent penning!
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An unexpected joy to find this. A tribute to the most ancient of cultures which still survives today. Your writing indicates a first hand experience. I envy you, just a little. Very well done. I love it.
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I stumbled across your page while looking through another author's comments. Nice to see another Aussie, by the way!!
I am very impressed with the way you used the harshness of our climate as an analogy for the sufferings of a depressive. The endless, relentless search for soft, soothing, cooling thoughts with which to anaethetise the fiery heat of painfully depressive memories. Memories which just won't go away and leave one in peace, but keep drawing you back remorselessly into the shadowlands (I loved this word for it!!).
This had an almost dreamlike feeling to it also ... particularly with the reference to the Feather Foot (which I think we call a bunyip in this part of the country ... others call it the Yowie I think).
As I was reading this, I immediately began to think of Judith Wright's poem "Rhythmic Dust" - I'm not really sure why.
Well done! Oi oi oi!
Peace,
rose anne.
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Thank you for your lovely comment on "Remembering". Actually the Feather Foot refers to the Kaidaitcha man... an aboriginal sorcerer and assasin. It's mainly a northern term I think.
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Beautiful
Is the brolga a type of heron?
I love the imagery, living as I do in a damp, cool, gentle, green valley!
But snow can be hard and bite too... and gentle, cool damp destroy your bones.
It's amazing how deep the feelings are about your own landscape, how what you are is woven into where you come from. I'm hoping the wonderful landscape which fills you keeps you from your shadowlands.
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What an eventful memory!
Where is this place? From your rich description I know you must've been there. I know of emu but not Warrigal or Feather Foot & what pray tell is brolga? That last camp fire must have been remarkable, like this poem drawing me to an unknown far away place. Thanks for the trip!
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They talk about cool gentle places
And soft places to fall
What do I know about that?
I know only of hot hard places
And places where the bony elbows
Of humanity
Meet the sharp edges of life
I loved the opening to this poem.
Sucked me right in
reminded me of nights i spent in the gulf
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Impressed
Sometimes remembering is a really painful experience...I just want to give you a big hug xo
It's very Australian which I love...made me want to sit round the campfire with you drinking billy tea, observing the beauty of our wonderful land, creating some good memories..
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g'day man from the land down under
a bit of nostalgia and melancholy, a bit of personal reflections , as well as info to the reader that is not from that land down under, re the Featherfoot. I do believe having read something at one time about it/them and the mystery.
Now as the shadow lands draw me back
To my last camp fire
I remember
those last three lines speak a lot to me.......about those reflections that we have as we age and or mature. Not that I am exactly ancient, but as your bio page says "old enough to know better"
thank you for sharing ALL of this in a write that is actually relatively short to be able to convey all that which you did. Quite a feat!
have a wonderful day,
reenie
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Thanks reenie... yes I think you have understood this poem as well as anyone has. I suffer from severe depression and sometimes that leads me down dark paths where I think about my last camp fire too much. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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I hope that you will be able to find the light amongst those shadows of this curse called "depression". Fortunately I have been spared that fate [only an occasional day of the blues]but I have been around enough people who suffer , therefore I know where the thoughts can lead one to. I wish you love, light and strength,
reenie
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Interesting...
You've taken me there. I love the metaphors. I enjoyed reading this. Shancy.
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The imagary in this is amazing. The "bony elbows of humanity" was great good work.
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I'll have to do some searching on a few of your words, but this is a nice glimpse into what your area of the world is like.
Great job!
~Steve
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Just be careful of the Feather Foot!
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Read up a bit on the Feather Foot. Quite interesting. Reminds me of Voo-doo in the way they psychologically kill or curse their prey/enemy.
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i loved the australian edge to this poem... of course im biased lol... i love australia... beautifully written,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
This is beautiful, and so respectful of the first people. I'm at the other end of Oz, in the high mountains, but I know the call of the warrigul well, and I shiver at the thought of the Feather Foot, the erased footprints as the Kadaitcha man makes his necessary rounds. I am leaving Oz next week, my last camp fire draws nigh, I'm so glad to have found your work, that I can take it with me.
I'm adding you as a favourite, I hope you don't mind, that way I can read your new works sooner.
With respect, Benz
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Sorry you are leaving... but you will still be on AP I hope?
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i love the bony elbows here- some nice imagery tripping through out the piece.. very nice
m
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Thank you very much!
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Memories... bitter-sweet sensation for me also. I'm not sure if this was written metaphorically but to me this is how it seems.
Lovely poetry!
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touched the cowgirl in me
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I figured you might like this!
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you know there was a song or is a song called Soft place to fall.. From the Movie Horse Whisperer.. I love it.. anyhow.. this is such a beautiful piece.. and makes you think about places to roam..
Great Now I gotta itch to travel.. I knew I should have got a passport last year.. ha..
Take Care,
Cat -
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Get that passport sorted...
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Left me breathless. I could see Ayer's Rock and the vast wastelands... imagery is just beautiful. So glad I found your work.
Wolfie
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The contrast between the hard edges and the hope? for natures calls make it so much more. Liked it.
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Very rustic!! A hard life, with a hard bed on the ground for a restless sleep...
Great write! I wish I knew of a soft place to fall also...
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I like this
Your contrasting observations and reminiscences remind me of my own terrain. Hard and sharp, unforgiving and cynical - I'd rather have the songs of the brolga and emu too.
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Thank you so much!
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Being South African I can very much associate with this poem... the heat waves, the hard places. Our countries do test our resilience...snow is much softer than heat and hard, dry earth. But we also have the wide open skies and camp fires outside... A lovely write that I could feel in my bones too.
~ Nicolette
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Heat waves on the horizon...
Beautiful write...so many places you have seen, I have not...Can only imagine the intense heat you must endure...would love to visit Australia, my friend... -
a walk within the shadowland where shadows jeer the soul leaving within those great sadness and leaving with the question ...why?
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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Thank you my friend... you understand!
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this is a beautiful poem
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I can't imagine not having ever witnessed the sight and the feeling of a wintery snow, most of it in youth and it's been some years now since.... but man, you don't know what your missin'! These are thoughts as heavy as that silence and bearing down of a white silent gripping flight! Awsome!
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Thanks for your great comments my friend...
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im not sure of some of the references you used. but i take it was good because of the comments you got. this just didnt get to me. i dont know.
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We all have different tastes. You were honest in your comments and that's the most important thing. Thank you.
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Ther is such a sadness and a lost feeling to your words...Now as the shadow lands draw me back To my last camp fire I remember...before our last campfire does come, the heart shall long for its past and gently wonder of it's future...The things we do remember!...This touched deep John...know I will set by that fire with you as well
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Thank you Wadu Spirit... You understand!
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I love the imagery and form you use here. I don't think I can give this poem its due until I do some research on some of your references but knowing you I am sure it is deep.
One Love,
John -
Wow
I don't think I understand what all of it means, but that dosn't mean that it isn't a great poem. You have a well written poem here, don't let any tell you differant.
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Things are never the way we remember them from the first time we were there, but those memories are always part of us, no matter what. Liked the flow and the images this brings to mind. Liked the ending p last lin like the title, relating all in between.
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I think there’s more between the lines in this poem than meets the eye on first glance. As a nature piece it appears to be a very interesting look at where you’ve been and where you might like to have been and the images come across precise and clear, even to the point of drawing us back through time with memories at the end. As I’m not an Aussie I had to look up a couple of words I wasn’t sure about and found a little information, which leads me to think this poem has metaphorical meaning deep rooted in life.
Though the information was not overly enlightening I would say that if you have seen the pointed bone, it is only harmful if you are on the wrong end of it, though I can’t be certain of this! The rhetorical question appears to be the spark that ignites the flame in this poem but each of those soft places you speak of is unique to ever individual person. Though this feels quite sad I really like the way you’ve written the poem. Keep your pen flowing
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Sue
The Warrigal is an aboriginal name for the dingo. Feather Foot is the Kaidaitcha Man... and the pointed bone is what you think it is... Thanks for your wonderful comments!
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Another beautiful write. I love the way you start by mentioning the soft cool places, then move on to the hard hot places. Then you, so well, bring out the beauty in the memories of this place. Nature in itself brings serenity. When you take the time to see it with more than your eyes, the things that actually stick with us as memories, the beauty of nature around us can turn even those harder places into something that has its own comforting softness. Beautifully penned, my friend.
Heather
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Thank you Heather...
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I like your nature imagination ...heat waves,dry land,the call of warrigal, the song of brolga & emu...for sure I havent seen this creatures...but sound semi wild
Please write more about nature
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Beautifully penned !
I really enjoyed this write Well done and I look forward to reading more of your poems.
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wonderful
loved the bony elbows of humaniy. great pushy image
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there was a song once that talked about a soft place to fall..
I am still looking for it myself..
Beautiful my friend..
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John,
this is my absolute favorite poem of yours so far...
"Now as the shadow lands draw me back
To my last camp fire
I remember"
Excellent work..
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There is a quietness about this piece which adds impact to the subject matter. The sense of self-awareness and natural imagery blend to produce a work that is contemplative and effective. You have a very lovely and well-written poem here.
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ara
As always anything you write captures ones mind and imagination. You use history of Australia well into your poems... John your brilliance in thoughts shows well onto paper, you are talented in thought as you are putting them to paper... keep penning as I know many will flock here once they had read 1 or 2 of your poems... -
the things we miss out on in life are things that can never be replaced... memories are great buy i try and live every day to its fullest, aus tis wonderful but i wouldnt miss out on the other countries i have lived in or things i have seen and experienced. the last lines are sad... the last campfire? never... keep up that writing and living,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
this is great, i'm happy i came to read it!
the way you linked the words together gives it a nice flow, the kind of flow i like to read.
i hope to keep reading more from you!
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The isolation of this wilderness of words is remarkable. There is a mystery to it that is absolutely exquisite. It seems this place mirrors some dark recess of your soul, and you know how I do enjoy those visits. VERY nicely done, you outwrite me with every piece.
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Wow--send this out to be published-this is an outstanding poem! I even added a bookmark so I can come back and read it again. Love the way you combine nature, metaphors, and myths!
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Thanks Maggie...
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Dear poet,you have taken a pen and let it paint,there are sights and sounds painted on the canvass of life with rich language and lucid emotion,it is a new favourite of yours for me,though the poignance of shadow lands and last camp fire are heart wrenching as if the poet is more than melancholy.Loved the usage of description and thoroughly enjoyed this very well written piece.Did wonder whether you had considered the usage of sung instead of sang but just pondering as is my way.Noticed to that this is a break away from your usual rhythmic style and written in freeverse and how well you write with the liberty it gives the writer.Bravo.
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yvette...
thanks for your great comments! Yes... I think it needs changing from sang to sung. Thank you my friend!
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Very nice write John, interesting, you paint a vivid picture of your life, I don't know much about Australia, but would like to learn...
Snow can be beautiful, but does have it's drawbacks, like shoveling a path, driving and sliding, and dirty snow from polutition in states where it doesn't melt until spring...But it is awesome when it's snowing, and the ground is covered with soft white fluff, and if it is moist snow, you can build a snowman or have snowball fights...Guess there is good and bad in everything,,,lol...
hugs, mary
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Thank you for your comments Mary... you are always kind to me!
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This is an interesting piece my friend. I like the metaphors you have used in it. It is truly a great piece....
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Thank you... you always give me support!
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