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Reminiscence

Sipping a cup of freshly brewed coffee
and listening to the gently falling rain
outside my open window, I am reminded of
times past---simpler times
when I was a child. 

I would lie in bed
listening to Muddy Waters
from a Chicago blues station
on my multi-band radio. 

My head would be propped up
on a pillow laid on the windowsill
and the cool breezes
would cause the rain to splatter
gently against my face
as I drifted off to sleep
with a serene smile. 

I would dream
of magnificent herds of wild horses
running free in a beautiful valley
encircled by purple hued mountains
with white caps,
swimming in my favorite swimming hole
on Mona Lake,
fishing in the bayou with my brother Ed,
ice skating on our homemade ice rink
with my sister Bonnie,
majestic eagles in flight

and cats eye marbles.

I have an overwhelming urge

to get my pillow.




A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • bunnyslasher157
    November 10
    Edit | Reply

    Judge

    I like It good luck and keep writing!!

  • humble1
    October 7

    Edit | Reply

    great poem

    this is how everyone should remember there younger years-shame its not always like that. beautifully write thanks for sharing







  • Antebellum
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    Sipping a cup of freshly brewed coffee
    and listening to the gently falling rain
    outside my open window, I am reminded of
    times past---simpler times
    when I was a child.

    wonderful imagery. thanks for entering,
    good luck.

  • Juno101
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    Yo, very vivid imagery. Good job and nice idea. Thanks for joining my moresome.


  • Symphony
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, the opening of this was fabulous because it was so VIVID even though you didn't describe the person or the surrounding, just the mention of sipping coffee and the rain immediately puts the reader into that mindframe ...

    wonderfully written, i felt like i was right there with you. thanks for entering.

  • Symphony
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, the opening of this was fabulous because it was so VIVID even though you didn't describe the person or the surrounding, just the mention of sipping coffee and the rain immediately puts the reader into that mindframe ...

    wonderfully written, i felt like i was right there with you. thanks for entering.


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    great imagery here it was like i was there . thank you for entering my contest and good luck i hope you place


  • your angers a gift
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    very nice imagry in this. I could picture everything perfectly. Great job with this! Thanks for entering. Good Luck!


  • Captain Amber SL
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    I love the light feel of this poem, how every word seems carefree and innocent, as if you are truly turning back time and becoming a child. I also love the descriptive words that you've used to enhance the beauty of the childhood dream. It is small in length, but makes the reader feel as calm and happy as the speaker of the poem.

    Unfortunately, try as I might, I cannot find anything to constructively criticize in this poem. So, you will just have to be satisfied with my praise and bask in the fact that you have written an excellent poem.

    I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^

    Aeris Silverlight


  • vaseline
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    i also could spend hours lying on my pillow listening to the songs which made me and replaying memories of all the good times. very nicely written, short and sweet just how i like it. thank you for entering


  • jayyniecakes.
    February 16
    Edit | Reply
    nice imagery...

    best of luck in my contest


  • new born
    January 31
    Edit | Reply
    This was a good poem. I really like the line 'cat's eye marbles.' Best of luck!


  • DogFish silver member
    January 24
    Edit | Reply

    mellow!


  • Vendelay
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely, It gives me the feeling of happiness, you make childhood sound so light and simple. Thank you for sharing.


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... The ending of this made me tingle!!

    Excellent writing here...
    It's hard to capture those memories, just as they were, especially in written format, you cannot write a smell.

    But Oh! This was good.

    And I love coffee!


  • forbidden-colour
    January 12
    Edit | Reply
    Very much like another of the entries you graced my contest with.
    Thank you for entering
    x


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully written




  • Shancy Fayre
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    Nice job. Thank you for your entry. Shancy.


  • leander Moderators member
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the way you were able to write down the scenes in this poem... good use of imagery here!
    Thank you for the entry
    Leander


  • mystic-angel gold member
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written! I love the imagery in this. Thanks for your entry and good luck.


  • trekkergirl
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow thanks for this wonderful trip down memory lane. This is a wonderful write. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.

1 - 27 of 27