Another person
Touching your face
Their eyes looking back
And through you
Thin, traced paper
Stretched across bones
Hang loose
Fading beyond
A colourful rendition
Fingers could caress
Solid. Safe. Secure.
Their feet adorned
With boots you once
Were proud to parade
Fine cotton ribbons
Falling into rope
Holding tight
To your final hope
The water is dripping
Draining you dry
A life, so long
It's wasted. Die.
Throw me tomorrow...
Author notes
And the symbolism, an old person with thin skin looking in a mirror seeing themselves touch their own skin, and seeing how old and wrinkled they've become, then the seond staza, about seeing a person that's taken the life the protagonist once had, the third stanza is about the faint whispy hair of old age, and it showing the protagonist how old they are, and the tug of destiny, then realisation of how they've wasted their life.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
i can't find the words to describe ur poem....its really good! excellent work!!! much love!
-
Don't need to explain honey
This poem is very exquisite..wow i like the way you write naznomarn...my darling Christian...you are talented..and i hope you will always be okay and that nothing bad will happen to you..you have a piece of my heart with you..hold it close...don't ever let it go..
Fine cotton ribbons
Falling into rope
Holding tight
To your final hope
this part is nicely done!
-
-
thaanks
-
-
ahah! very well done! i particularly enjoyed the 2nd and 3rd stanza, very nice flow in the third. what's got you thinking about old age anyway? great job as usual. take care.
-
-
As it happens, it's just a song by David Bowie that I watched the vid for. And I just felt it was so beautifully done
-
-
I love it. Another great poem by you... you know I'm ur number 1 fan.... Love ya silly *huggggggggggggggggg*
-
-
You really are a sweetie, you know? *HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG*
-
-
wow... this was...
this was beautiful.
I dropped by because I saw something written by you and I remembered I hadn't commented on your stuff in a while, so here I am
I especially liked the last stanza, it really grabbed my attention and there was a terrific ending.
Just wondering- on the second to last stanza,
"Fine cotton ribbons
Falling into rope
Hoping tight
To your final hope"
Did you mean
HOLDING tight to your final hope?
Wow I haven't heard from you in a while, but this was a great read. You must have been saving up your words for a while to create a beautiful masterpiece such as this! And not only are you a great at poetry, but at being friends too
Good job dad
~Pandy
-
-
Yes! Hehe
I did mean holding! Thank yoou! You are far too kind about it!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
